A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've dated a guy on and off since the beginning of the school year and I really love him. He's the guy that I lost my virginity to, that's how involved I was with him. We usually break up and get back together a few weeks later, but we broke up about a month and a half ago and we're still not together. For the last month we've been fooling around a lot. I know that we shouldn't be doing it, but I'm still in love with him and I'm nowhere near over him. On Friday he started dating another girl. We haven't done anything while they're together and we're not going to. I want to move on from him this time. I think that it's really finally over, but I'm stuck. I like another guy, but I keep comparing him to my ex. I know that it's going to take some time to get over him, but how much? I just want to finally move on because it hurts to see him with his new girlfriend. I don't know what to do to move on quicker though. A lot of people keep telling me to just avoid him all together, but that's not going to happen. He knows more about me then anyone else and I don't want to lose him as a friend. Any advice on how to get over him once and for all?
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female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (26 March 2009):
 Advice: STAY AWAY FROM YOUR EX. Cut him off completely. That means no talking beyond the necessary polite greetings (if you go past that you are adding to emotional intimacy which you do NOT want!!), no hanging out, AND ESPECIALLY NO FOOLING AROUND!!!
Girls get really attached to guys when they have sex with them. My boy is studying to be a doctor and apparently there's some sort of bonding hormone that is released when women 1. Have sex and 2. Give birth. The fact that this guy was your first just emphasizes that...
Let him go on to the next girl, and in the meanwhile, make a list of reasons why he would have made a terrible boyfriend (if there are no reasons, make them up) and post it up somewhere where you will see it often. Go out and get a new haircut, get a fresh start, and seriously, start a new life where he has a small to nonexistent role! You are going to HAVE to lose him as a friend for a while. If you aren't willing to do that, there's nothing much any of us can do to help you.
Good luck XX
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