A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Any advice on going from lovers to friends? We never managed to get together when we were younger so there was a lot of expectation when we did. Neither of us could live up to all those years of expectations and we have finally admitted it hasnt worked out. I do however think hes a really interesting and kind person and I would love to be friends. How do I get past the lingering romantic feelings I have for him and turn it into a friendship?? Positive stories only please!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, yowie  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 I was friends with my ex before we started going out. We were together almost 9 years before we parted. And 8 years after splitting up, he is still my greatest friend. we still meet up for lunch, go fishing sometimes. We dont talk every day or anything, maybe once a month? But he's there when I need someone to talk to. He's a gem :)
Occasionally he has put the hard word on me, I just back off for a while- he knows he has overstepped the mark and when we talk again its not mentioned.
I still love him dearly, but always remember why it didnt work out. That helps control the lingering feelings - and even after 8 years, you sometimes still think "what if" - so you need to get a handle on that.
It's do-able! Best wishes.
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