A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 16 years old.. and my boyfriends is around 37 years old and he has 2 kids and he is also married....He is my coach in table tennis when i was in high school, we bond together, we go out together as friends.... yet unfortunately, as the yime pass, we deeply madly fell in love with each other... he told me that when i reach my legal age.. he will marry me... and live his family.. he usually say that.... he is still living with his wife and two kids .. we're seeing each other everyday.... when my parents knew that i am having an affair with this man.. they get mad.. and they want me to stay away from him.. what should i do?another thing.... he usually updates me of what is hapenning in their house... everytime his having an arguement with his wife and whatever problems he encounters at home... but i'm in a state of doubt that his wife doesn't love him anymore (his wife is aware of our relationship).. i guess his wife still love him.... and i'm afraid that he'll probably fell in love with her again.... can you advice me what to do?
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affair, fell in love, married man Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankz for the advice...!!!!
till next time!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): his 37 year old married man is not your boyfriend. he is this womans husband. and you are so stupid you cannot see it. in a few years time you will just be sloppy seconds and damaged goods and would expect another man to undo all the sh1t you are creating in your life. if you believe this married man is not having sex with his life, they you are even more naive. i will not tell you to leave this man. you will not listen anyway and i will be wasted my energies with you. but i will tell you what a messed up lttle girl you are. you have runied this other womans life. you are nothing but a cheap *hore who does not give a damn who you hurt. this man has 2 kids for goodness sake. he will not leave his wife, why leave a mature woman for another child. he has 2 already anyway. get ready for the time of your life. alone, despressed, suicidal all in the name of love. you are a homewrecker. and you will learn the hard way. watch life unleash its tormoil in your life.
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A
female
reader, xXAlexxX  +, writes (1 July 2009):
Honestly, I think you'd be better of without him. How much do you really have in common, and how can you relate to someone who is from a completely different generation?
Secondly - he is MARRIED. He may say he doesn't love his wife - so why hasn't he left her already?In my opinion, you're either in an unhappy marriage, and you leave that relationship, or you're happy in your marriage, and you don't cheat. Marriage is sacred, and the fact that he is willing to cheat on his, says alot about him. How could you trust that if you get married, he won't do the exact same thing to you??
If he leaves his wife for you, how do you think his kids are going to react? It's possible they won't want anything to do with him, and how will you feel about having destroyed his relationship with his children??
I know you may love him, but how could this situation ever work??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Please run for your life. He is obviously very immature, and very selfish. Think about the way he is treating his wife, (and don't believe everything he tells you about her, she is probably the victim of his selfishness), and see him for what he is. No right-thinking middle-aged adult carries on with a teenager.
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A
female
reader, Jessica2  +, writes (30 June 2009):
I have a friend who was in similar situation when she was 16, it ended in disaster! Please don't go through with it, it's not worth it! Even if you think you two are in love and you might not find anyone like him...NOT TRUE!! There are way better men for you. Someone that old and married who says he is in love with a 16 year old ALWAYS of ulterior motives. Be careful!!
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A
male
reader, citic101  +, writes (30 June 2009):
 you should split with him ! Hes to old Has kids You were/are at school with this man Trust your parents
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): ignore these people. i dated a married man when i was younger. we were just fwb. its only fun and age means nothing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): If he regularly coaches teenage girls, don't kid yourself that you're his first. Yes, you should stay away from him, and you know it. Unfortunately, at your age you are at the mercy of your hormones. It's a bad situation, which will end unhappily, but I implore you, BE CAREFUL AND DO NOT GET PREGNANT. You probably will recover from this affair in a couple of years and go on to lead a normal, happy life, but not if you are looking after a married man's baby.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (30 June 2009):
 As a 38 year married man with kids I can say without any doubt - DON'T DO IT - it will not end well.
You may be beautiful, mature for your age and fascinating person but for a 38 year old guy to be that interested in a 16 year old there is a serious flaw in him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): The best advice i can give you is STAY AWAY from this man hes married wich means your just the girl hes using for sex. Nomatter what he says he loves you blah blah BS. That doesnt even matter your 16 i dont know if thats illegal in your country but it is in U.S. This will end up just turning into a disaster do you really want to be in love with a man with so much baggage??? maybe so but we WARNED YOU.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): Well, ask yourself. Are you okay with interfering with a married man's crumbling relationship? Are you okay with having a relationship with a man who has children and is seeing his wife regularly, while you yourself are underage and still living with your parents (Who are not okay with this relationship)?In my opinion, it just sounds like he's going to use you, and you should listen to your parents, especially because you are underage and living in their house and under their rules. Don't do something you'll regret. As much as I hate to sound like the most negative guy on the planet... Dump this man, even though you have a severe case of puppy-love, because hun, trust me, you're going to end up hurt because of this man. In the end, you're going to find a nicer, better, more stable man who isn't in the relationship just for a pretty young thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): GET AWAY!!! I know that's not what you want to hear but trust me, I've been there it will not work. He likes you for a reason...you're young. Parents know best, I'm telling you, I'm 18 though and I'm telling you, you probably really have not too much in common and things will not work out the best in the end. You will end up broken hearted and let down with your whole teenage years a waste. That is honestly what happened to me only I was 15 and my guy was 42. Please, find someone you're own age if anyone at all, you have your full life ahead of you, concentrate on school and your future, not his. Again, I know that's not what you wanted to hear but I'm telling you from experience hun!!! Good luck!
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