A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girl friend who I plan to marry very soon in a year or so is pregnant. She is secretly thinking or planning to get an abortion because she is worried about me and my plans or us. I love her and she loves me. This would be her second child. She is to go to college in September. If she does it I will cut her off. Totally. Thats murder. I am the one supporting her other child. she asked me what i want her to do? she is waiting on me to reassure her that all will be well. I will not do that if she can't see and decides this then she will throw away everyting we have and didn't love me afterall. Plus I have already proved I am man enough to step up and support her child. I am remaining silent. All puffed up..watching her closely.
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female
reader, Alli  +, writes (3 April 2007):
 my heart goes out to you, you are right you are a man, there not manny of people who will take on a child which isnt theres. But dont just sit back, buy a baby-gro or two show her you want this child, show her pictures of her first child when he/she was first born to remind her of hoe special it really is to bring a child into this world. Abortions should only be done when rape is involved or it may damage the mothers health. remind her that if she didnt want to get pregnant then she should of been more carefull, show her you'll be there, take her out for dinner, or do something to show her you care. please dont just sit back. let her go and study and you can stay at home with the baby. im sure you'll find a way. and i really hope for the babys sake and yours she keeps it. all the best xx
A
female
reader, Try 2 +, writes (30 March 2007):
try 2 understand from her point of view, when you get pregnant its a shock to your system, no matter how many children you have, the process you go through is stressful. your right, this is a major decision that involves you and as rubbish as it sounds, it is her body. i understand, it takes both of you and in theory it should be a joint decision. i know its difficult to hear but you need to be there for her. the fact that you are fathering her child now, she knows your a good man, but she also wants to educate herself and offer her child and future children more. she knows you will be there for her if she does keep it, but let me tell you, it was not a easy decision for her to come to. what you don't know is that she has probably been crying her eyes out. please support her. tell her how you feel, you need to make your beliefs clear to her without being judgmental. good luck
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A
female
reader, Beki +, writes (30 March 2007):
 i can understand where your coming from. But thinking of it as your baby is rather selfish, yes she already has one child but having two is far worse. You also will not have to carry the baby for 9 months, she is also going to college, having the baby could affect her badly. You seem to be acting rather selfish at this. Maybe she doesn't want to get rid of the baby maybe she thinks thats what you wants. You should talk it out, ask her why she wants to get rid of it, talking baout the situation calmly and in detail will sort it out.
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