A
male
age
36-40,
*iceboy
writes:Hi,I just wanted to find out if you guys think I should worry or should just move on. I admit that we had some fights here and there.Just recently my girlfriend left for a internship for 5 months more than a thousand miles away and she promised that I shouldn't worry and that she loves me. She always promised that she wouldn't do anything to hurt me. She said that after this is all said and done it will be 10 times better. After a week and a half of leaving, she says that she needs space. Some time to be on her own. We have been together for 5 years! She was and I was her first for everything. Now she just wants to make her decisions without me being with her and that I should do the same.I don't know whether this was influenecd by her fellow interns because I think most of them might be single but point is should I wait because I do love her dearly. Its been almost 2 weeks since we talked and I have been to clubs and did guy things but the only perosn who pops in my mind is her. Do you guys think she found someone else that interest her and she didn't want to say she was taken if asked? I am just confused and my friends tell me that ALL girls go through this and it's just a game until they find out if I am really the one.The reason I ask if I should just move on because I don't think my heart would be able to take it if she does sexually related things with other guys to find out if it's better somewhere else. I know all I can do is wait and handle my ownself and try to make myself better. But do you guys think she would just throw away us like that after just being away for just a total of almost a month?
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male
reader, Riceboy +, writes (30 September 2009):
Riceboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot to mention that she's leaving me text saying that shes "had a long day at work and that shes thinking of me"
and also one checking up on me saying "Just wanted to see how you are doing?"
Are these text just being sent to see if I will still be here? I don't know what it is and I feel like she's just playing games.
She also told me in one of the text that to make life easier, not to tell her family and friends of what is going on between us because I am close with her cousins.
A
male
reader, Riceboy +, writes (30 September 2009):
Riceboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all your inputs.
I have one part telling me that I should just email her and let her know how I feel and that if shes doing this to have fun that she doesn't deserve me and just call it over.
The other part telling me to just let it be and that if she does things, then its over and if she doesn't then we can work it out.
The only thing I'm afraid of is that if I try to contact her I really don't want to push her away especially if shes really doing this to just to think over things.
Do you think I should just wait it over or email her?
Thanks
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A
female
reader, HappyPage +, writes (30 September 2009):
Dear Curious about what this girl ACTUALLY MEANS:
My answer? She's not entirely sure, but she knows one thing and it's something everyone 'feels' and runs across at some point in their lives.
There comes a time to break free of EVERYTHING you've ever known and take that time for self-discovery. There's no ideal way to do this, so don't use her method as any indication or don't read anything into it. Just listen to what she's saying (I need to discover who I am and even I am not aware that's what I'm doing) and what YOU need to do if you like her AT ALL is to completely back off, be kind and sweet to her, but don't give yourself over to her right now; hold some of your emotion back and keep your heart in neutral.
Time will put this back together as it was designed to be, but you MUST NOT act needy, lost, wimpy or ANYTHING that indicates that you're weak - she'll use the time and space to exaggerate that fact and at that point- you're sunk.
Act cool; like you care 'only a little'........
xx
Alexx
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A
female
reader, liz2  +, writes (30 September 2009):
Easy answer...she wants to date other guys. She's in a new place and wants to have fun and at the same time doesn't want to be a cheater so she's breaking it off so she can do what she wants. She wants to call it "having space" because in the back of her mind when the internship is over this leaves it open for her to come home and pick up things where she left them. The question is whether or not you can live with that. My opinion is what's good for the gander is just as good for the goose so if she's going to haave her fun so should you. At the end of the internship if the two of you want to reconnect you can decide then.
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A
female
reader, loops  +, writes (30 September 2009):
I agree with what the last guy to an extent though im not sure if all girls go through this, im in the opposite situation, it seems to be the guy in my life having the whole need space issue. But the advice the last guy gave you was the best i can offer too. If she wants space then give her it, over time she will either realise she wants to be with you, or you will move on, but trying to reason with her/ hang on will not help either of you and will probably wind up with you feeling worse. I know how hard it is ive thrown myself into doing other things, going out etc and this guy doesnt escape my mind either, but i know by playing into it and seeming like i need him im not helping myself, or him.I hope things figure out for you, you seem like a decent guy.
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A
female
reader, LemonPuff +, writes (30 September 2009):
 I think most people have fights in relationships. It's whether you can overcome them and build a stronger bond that matters.
As for your girlfriend she promised before she left for you not to worry so it's a bit harsh saying she wants space now. But it shouldn't matter that there are single people where she is. If she truly loved you that wouldn't bother her. The only thing you can really do is talk to her. Let her know that you want answers and you're not going to hang about for them. If she doesn't want to talk then I'd say she's not worth it because she clearly doesn't care about you. plus the longer you leave it the more the fact she might be with someone else will play on your mind. It's gonna be hard because 5 years is a long time to invest your love in someone. But if worst comes to worst go out and have some fun. Someone better will come along who deserves your affection. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2009): Its heard to say what she been doing like this.Do you guys fight alot? Or you guys are two different person?If it like that may be she doing right things.Yes, she need a space for think about her relationship.So, just understand her.Do you guys talk on the phone or email stuff like that, I mean (connection).Love is more far away more easy to break it.If you want to know clearly you should ask her. What she really want?Tell her to you love her so much and you affried to loosing her.And inportant question is she found someone else.That's big question.Me and my ex boyfriend been for 7years.We think we love each other but the realize we are completly two different person.So, I need to move on.If I stay in my home town with him its too heard to move on my life.So, I move to far away from my home town.I live in Thailand.I moved to United State.He can't follow me and I'm not easy to goback. I really decided to get over him that's why I did it.But I can't love nobody like him.He is my first love and we were high school sweet heart.But everyone need love.right! After 1 year I broke up with him I found other guy.He love me and care about me But I can't feel him like the way I feel my ex.So, your girlfriend and you are together for 5 years. She is not easy to forget you.She just need time to think about some problem.If she really love you she will tell you the truth, why she left.Even she never want to see you again.Just understand her.If she tell you to move on you just keep move on.Try to forget her.Avoid everything remind you of her.Like music,restaurant anything.Try to be busy.That what I did to foget about him.Not completly, but its help to move on somehow.Well, good luck with this. Just try to contect with her and warm your relationship. Best wishes for you.
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