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Annoyed with best friend squealing

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 August 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 August 2010)
A male age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hi guys, i am pissed off with my best friend, who i used to consider the brother i never had.

i thought i could safely bitch about my gf to him while me and my gf are in a bit of turmoil over money and trust, and other issues. he was happy to agree with me on the subject to my face however he then relayed it to my gf.

i didnt want to raise any of those issues with her untill we had sorted out the ongoing predicament. she wont tell me what he said and wouldnt tell me who it was, but i knew who it was because he was the one i bitched to about my gf. she bought it up this evening saying she dosent trust me anymore..and wonders why im in the relationship if im going to bitch to my firends about her and paint her in a bad light. im really annoyed at him for telling her and making tuings more complicated and being two faced. im also annoyed because she has been having a crush towards him for a while and he is putty in her hands. they have the beginnings of an emotional affair going on atm.

i was just bitching to my friend to release a bit of tension. i feel betrayed and worried im gonna loose my girl because of it, and loose her to him. so upset and lost atm

View related questions: affair, best friend, crush, money

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A male reader, James the Rocket Australia +, writes (28 August 2010):

He played you and now he is stealing your woman from you.

Say to her "I'm sorry I confided in my best friend about the problems in our relationship. I was wrong to do that and I won't do it again."

Then go and give him a good old fashioned belting. He deserves it, for betraying your trust.

Tell a friend abut this, preferably an older lady, and get her to point out to your gf that if this guy betrays his bes t friend, then he is going to have no trouble being a cheater. It may not be true, but this is war.

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A male reader, smile(: United States +, writes (22 August 2010):

If they have the beginnings of an emotional affair going the last thing you would want to do is give him leverage against you by complaining about you girlfriend to him. That he would betray your trust is wrong and annoying, I would cut him out of the loop for a while. Really though he is not the important, how to deal with you girlfriend is more important. I don't know about the issues between you so grain of salt. You will probably have to apologize and may want to consider giving up some ground on your other arguments with her. If you need a place to vent, post on dearcupid or another site anonymously, and leave out details that would make it so they cannot recognize it and pin it to you.

For your friend: fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. If he wants your trust again he is going to need to earn it after obviously betraying you by telling the worst person possible.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010):

hi there i don't know if this will be of any help or comfort to you or if you will simply disregard what i have to say completely.Everyone needs a friend at times to simply be there to listen to them get things off their chest.Unfortunately sometimes what is said to another be it a best friend or a complete stranger is repeated to others because the friend doesn't know or wants someone to say to him they thought they were right to agree with you .It isn't always a malicious act .Perhaps he thought by telling your girlfriend he would be making it easier for you to approach her with your concerns .If you really believe that she is showing more than a friendly interest in your friend ask .There is nothing to lose if you already feel that something is not right .One of the main structures of a relationship is talking to each other about things be they good or bad.If she really wants to be with you then talk to each other and clear things up together .A man is a proud creature and likes to talk to their mates about the women in their lives.its normal girls have their moans about their guys to their friends to .you will never know the answers unless you ask the questions.The main thing is don't get angry about this it will work out one way or the other and if you can't trust each other or your friend then you may need to be apart rather than live a life on doubts and fears .

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (22 August 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntOuch ur best bud violated ur trust, I thought it didnt happen in guy world, same thing happens in girl world. U should be able to tell your best friend everything and not matter what they dont judge u, just offer their advice, keep ur secrets, and have ur back at all times. Now that back stabbing in girl world costs the untrustworthy friend a friendship. Im not sure how it goes for u, but if he likes ur girl and went behind ur back and tattled about u making u look bad, at the same time making him look reliable then thats grounds for a terminated friendship to me regardless. If u know she likes ur bud then why are u still with her? Her heart, and mind isnt 100% into u. Bottom line my dear, ditch ur friend and ur gf if theyre that dramatic then they deserve each other.

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