A
female
age
,
*inRSF
writes:Am I being greedy for having expectations of a gift from my husband for our 30th wedding anniversary?
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female
reader, HinRSF +, writes (29 September 2010):
HinRSF is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis was a while ago. The day was a disaster. Spouse picked a fight about why he can't get along with any of our children while I sat trying not to say anything or cry. If I had my car I would have left. He then threw the cheapest band available in our local jeweler's at me (the jeweler had apparently called him to tell him she wasn't comfortable selling him such a piece of crap) & said, "you might as well have this." I gave it back to him & went back to the jewelers & picked myself out a nice ring designed like a flower.
A
female
reader, HinRSF +, writes (18 July 2010):
HinRSF is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your feedback. Hopefully just me being a worrier. He has definitely had a head's up today, as I wore the "special" ring he randomly bought me 4 years ago to make up for the no engagement ring & told me he wished he could get me another, but can't. I said a little eternity band, roses or a dog would be wonderful. Looks like I'm getting a band. Thank you all! Any advise on making it special for him?
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A
male
reader, hindsight +, writes (18 July 2010):
"A" gift? No. And shame on him if he thinks that 30 years excludes him from having to buy one. If my wife and I are still together after 30 years, I'd get her whatever I could afford for putting up with my crap for that long.
Now, the degree of gift is very circumstantial. A "big" gift is all in context. If you've not been big gift-givers in the past, something that would seem small to someone else may be a huge gesture for your husband. The size may also be dependent upon your current financial situation.
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A
female
reader, HinRSF +, writes (17 July 2010):
HinRSF is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have made a reservation (& will be paying before he gets there) at one of our favorite places where we rarely go; champagne on the table & yellow roses, like we had at our wedding, with a mini carrot cake for dessert. My gift to him is the best bottle of French red wine I can find - I have my wine merchant looking for something extremely special - attached will be details outlining a wine tasting dinner in Paris where we will be in 3 weeks with our adult son & middle schooler (with IPOD). As to my expectations, I would be crushed if he does nothing. I have our the past few months brought up adopting a dog, planting some more roses, loving to have a jacaranda tree. He is well aware of my love of jewelry & has been very good over the years about indulging it. I would also like pearl earrings or an eternity band. Seriously what I want is for him to do something.What he has been bad about is the proposal - didn't get one or a ring & big anniversaries have been blown off in the past.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (17 July 2010):
 Getting a gift at ALL? No, that should be a given. But depending on WHAT you're expecting, maybe? What are you asking for?
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A
female
reader, HinRSF +, writes (17 July 2010):
HinRSF is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe best bottle of French red wine he's ever had in his life, I've also arranged and will be paying for the most elegant restaurant in our area, with a mini version of our wedding cake and wedding flowers. Attached to the wine will be an invitation for a multi course wine tasting dinner in Paris in three weeks time. What else should I do to make it special? as to my expectations, I just want the date commemorated. I have suggested adopting a dog, planting a rose bush or three, planting a flowering tree, pearls or an eternity band. Seriously it's not the cost of the thing it's wanting the event acknowledged.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): What are you getting him?
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (17 July 2010):
 I'm wondering as I assume others will too, what are your expectations. It should be something thoughful since 30 years is one of those big marks but are you doing anything for him as well. Maybe he has expectations too.
I wouldn't expect something really expensive but if you two each put your heart into each others gifts than it should be a wonderful day.
Congradulations on 30 years together.
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