A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My old friend, who now I don't really talk to or anything has started dating my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me. still have feelings for him even though he's over me.She knows how I feel about him, but she's dating him anyway. I feel really angry, and being honest extremly jelous.I really want to get rid of these feelings, but everytime I hear his name, wether it be about him or not, the feeling comes back again.I don't know what to do about it and I really want the anger and jelousness to go away before I do something stupid, like get yell at the girl dating him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank's everyone for helping me on this situation. Thank you everyone else for posting on this, however I have taken matters into my own hands, and I shall continue to live life that way.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 I agree with Cindy, I wouldn't pull the "girl code" here either.
He is your ex. He dumped YOU. Obviously HISS loss.
Facts are HE (and you) are BOUND to date a few people before you find that "someone". HE wasn't it. If he had really cared for you he wouldn't have dumped you, so you have to look at it this way, WOULD you want to be with a guy who doesn't want to be with you? (hopefully you answer would be no).
So it's time to put that former friend and ex in the past. You have your whole life ahead of you, look to the future, live in the now and let the past be the past.
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A
female
reader, Ask_Jess +, writes (16 April 2012):
 Oh hun this must be such a tough situation to be in! If you don't really talk to this old friend any more then I agree with Cerberus and you should just put them both in your past and move on. If the boy ended things with you then perhaps he doesn't appreciate you in the way that you deserve, and your friend clearly isn't a good friend or she may have considered your feelings before acting upon her own. However, if your old friend is someone you would rather not put in your past then you need to talk to her about how you feel.
Either way though my dear, you are going to need to move on from this, however unpleasant it is for you, because you can't control the decisions they make. You need to move on to greener pastures and nicer friends!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): Just forget them OP and move on with your life and regardless of what CindyCares says never get with a friends ex and never forgive those who do it to you.
There's a reason for that code OP, friends aren't supposed to make each other feel this bad are they?
So remember this feeling any time you start to like one of your friends ex's. Even if they say it's okay, you just should never risk hurting them in this way because very often friends think they'll be fine with it until it actually happens and this is how hurt they feel.
OP these feelings will pass as you get over him, just never forget you cannot trust this girl ever again. I'm all for forgiving mistakes but when a friend hurts you this deeply they cannot be trusted with your feelings again.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 I guess some of the Aunts may say that your friend acted wrong because she broke " girl's code " by dating a good friend's ex, which is generally a faux pas... but, come on , you are 13 to 15 , at this age all of you are in and out of love as kittens go in and out of a litterbox.
Which brings me to my answer : it ain't that bad, if you don't make it bad. That you feel anger, jealousy and resentment is normal and natural, don't fight that- and don't dwell on it. 99% of times things and people which exit your life are doing you a big favour, they free space for something better, if they were wired and necessary to make your life better they would have STAYED. As your parents stay, or your best friends, or true love when you find it. If he has dumped you- he was superfluous in your life, and you aren't really missing anything.
Do your thing, live your life, study, hang out with your friends, fill your time in pleasant ways - leave the happy couple to their own devices; and every time you find yourself brooding over them, make a conscious , willing effort to snap out of it and do something else that does not leave too much space for reminiscing- strenuous physical activity, for instance. Or babysitting a rambunctious kid :) Be patient, and consistent, you'll definitely get over it.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (16 April 2012):
 I'm in a similar situation, a friend of mine chose her chance to be happy, over our friendship. All you can do is move on and leave them to it. Don't speak to either of them and find another distraction, whether it be spending time with your friends, focusing on school work, finding a hobby or perhaps finding another potential boyfriend!!
Things will get better, you just have to be strong. Shows how much of a friend she was to just go ahead and do that to you. In my situation i wouldn't have minded if the girl had waited a while first, but no, she jumped right in there within a week!!
Be thankful the pair of them aren't in your life anymore, you have so many years ahead of you. Think of this as an annoying blip in your life. Roll on the good times!!!! Good luck :)
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