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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: hey guys i really need adviceim panicking and cant understand whyive worked with a guy for 18 months and in the last 7 months weve become friends and told each other stuff but in the last 2 weeks hes confided in me about some major stuff.he has a girlfriend and they just got a house together so im not out to cause problems but hes giving me a hell of a lot of attention and i cant understand why,before anyone says it ive spoken to various colleagues and they think hes a great guy and he is and hes definitely not the sort to just try and get you into bed so why the attention ?ive been alone for 3.5 years so admittedly this attention is making me feel very good. i dont know why then im feeling bad he says its ok to be good frends and one of my friends asked if he was single would i date him and i said possibly.im just upset because im not a bad person not looking to cause trouble and just happy to have a good friend is this so wrong ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 July 2012):
 I'm of the belief that you are what we lovingly call "the work wife" he likes you... cares about you but it's strictly platonic... it may look like something is going on but it's not...
at least that's how it's worked for me in the past... when I develop a close flirty relationship with a man at work (and it's just friends as I am not one to even entertain the idea of cheating) it has a lot of the appearance of an affair... emotional or other wise... In fact so much so that it becomes a bit of a joke....
so it may be nothing more than he likes you he really likes you.... and you're friends... nothing more...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 July 2012):
 As long as YOU can keep it platonic and not let it go beyond friendship I think it's alright.
But I think that I personally would back off a little, he IS in a relationship and SHOULD discuss these things with the GF not you.
Keep it professional.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (4 July 2012):
You’ve done nothing wrong. He might just want to be good friends, and this attention is just his way of being friendly, so don’t feel bad about it. Even if you think he wants to be more than good friends, you’ve still done nothing wrong if you don’t do anything about it. It’s not wrong to feel good about receiving such attention, just remember that an attached man is off limits and you won’t do anything that you should feel bad about. So enjoy the friendship, and if he does tell you that he wants more, tell him that you won’t be the other woman. It doesn’t sound like he wants to cheat judging by your post, but just keep the boundaries clear in your mind to deal with any situation if it does arise.
I wish you all the very best.
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