A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So, does one choose an amazing emotional connection with good sex and potential for a long term relationship? Or does one choose the best sex he's ever had in his entire life with no emotional connection? But absolutely mind blowing sex!I've found myself in this predicament. I've got a f*ck buddy who I've been sleeping with for a year and we have by far the best sex I've EVER had. Never connected with someone physically the way we connect. It's insane. But there is no emotional connection whatsoever. She is not a woman I would ever date because we aren't compatible emotionally at all. She feels the same way I do. No emotional connection. But then I have this amazing and beautiful girl who I've been seeing for a month or so and she's everything I'd want in a relationship. Smart, classy, educated, shares the same values I do. And the sex is very good (but nothing tops what I have with f*ck buddy). I know I need to eventually choose one or the other. I don't want to string the girl along who I have a connection with because I truly do like her and have feelings for her. But I don't know how to give up the best sex I've had! What to do!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2016): I'm assuming the emotional connection and f-buddy know about each other? If not then take a step back and consider your own arrogance at thinking it's ok to cheat on the 'emotional' connection while you take your time deciding and 'eventually' choosing. If (when) she finds out you are sleeping with someone else you won't get a choice. I'd recommend you select f-buddy as you are no way ready for commitment.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 October 2016):
 Well if you want to stay single and ave good sex then that is your choice. If you want to be with someone then you know what you need to do. It's really not as difficult as it seems.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (22 October 2016):
 If you know you don't want a future with your FWB, great sex is a silly reason to pass up someone who is overall a better fit for you. Great sex can clearly be learned, or we'd all be forever doomed to the kind of awkward, fumbling lovemaking usually experienced by teenagers having their first times. Why not teach the girl you actually feel chemistry with exactly how to please you?
That said, you need to make up your mind ASAP because stringing the second girl along while having sex with someone else also isn't cool unless you have been upfront with her about your FWB arrangement AND are using the appropriate protection each time with BOTH partners. Right now you could be playing Russian roulette with her health, her emotions, or both.
Whatever your decision, good luck and best wishes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2016): How do you KNOW your sex buddy has no feelings for you? That's what she says. But to go on for a year, it seems odd to me for a woman not to have or develop feelings for a man after this length of time of a relationship. Many women do not speak up and pretend they have no feelings so they can hold onto the guy.
Is it an OPEN sex buddy relationship? Just curious. Does your FWB have sex with other men? Are you able to handle that? I am sure if you let her go, she will go on to find another partner. But you probably don't like the idea of her pleasing another man the way she pleases you. That is what will happen if you leave her.
Are you sure you don't care more about your sex buddy than you let on?
Just asking to cover the bases.
If you really cared about the new woman, you would let the best sex go and take a risk on the new one. If you are not willing to let go of the sex buddy, maybe you like her more than you think and more than sexually but are not admitting it to yourself? Or maybe you are really not ready for a serious relationship?
I wonder if maybe you need a break from both. No sex. No contact with either.
Just to get some clarity.
See which one pops up in your mind the most. See what it is you miss the most about either. You should have an answer.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (21 October 2016):
Either give up the sex buddy or call it quits with this girl. If that connection meant enough to you, you would give up your sex buddy. Temptation is a part of life. You sacrifice the chance with anyone else for some-one you’re in love with and committed to. However much you like this girl, if you’re not prepared to give up your sex sessions with another woman then she isn’t the girl for you. Don’t string her along and have all the casual sex you want.
I wish you all the very best.
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