A
male
age
30-35,
*rBrightside90
writes:Hey everyone,I have a somewhat delicate issue here. First of all my girlfriend and two mutual friends of ours (a boy and a girl) decided that we are going to celebrate new years eve together in a club in town, so far so good.Today she was showing me a dress that she has bought for new years eve. At first I thought it was a joke, the dress looks like a lingerie piece to me. I just want to add that I am totally not controlling and I never do say what she needs to wear, but if she is going out with me and wearing something like that I would feel very uncomfortable.I don't know, am I wrong here wishing for her to change the dress into something more appropriate? I just don't want to spend the whole night watching guys drool over her. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 While I give my man SOME say in what I wear out on dates, I do NOT let him govern it totally... for example he would prefer me to wear SHORTER skirts like 2 inches below my butt cheeks short... Might work for a 21 year old but not a 51 year old.
That being said... IF she is going to be WITH YOU on a DATE for the evening... and she is not dressed inappropriately for her figure, then I think you need to trust her judgment.
You said: “I just don’t want to spend the whole night watching guys drool over her” that means that she’s going to look AWESOME ON YOUR ARM and they will all be jealous that she’s YOURS.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): My wife often wears wildly inappropriate clothing, so I understand where you're coming from. But, as a practical matter, what are your choices? You can ask her to wear something else, and she will either comply and resent it, or she'll go ahead and wear it anyway and resent the fact you asked her to wear something else.If it really bothers you, you have to find someone else. I don't think that would necessarily mean there's something wrong with you. Plenty of guys don't want to get involved with a woman who dresses inappropriately. You have every right to decide who you want to have a relationship with, but it's not realistic to think you can change someone into your ideal person.But, if you decide you want to continue a relationship with her, your best bet is to have fun that night, talk to other people, but pay attention to her as well, flirt with her and tell her how hot she is, etc. Think of yourself as being the stud who came to the party with a smoking hot woman. One side benefit of this is that other women will think you must have something going for you if came with a woman like that. Trust me, it's not all bad.Ultimately, if she were to turn into a completely out of control slut and leave with someone else, it wouldn't be fun but you'd know for an absolute fact she's not the one for you and you could move on without ever looking back.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): if shes anything like me, then she might be wanting to wear it to prevent you from drooling over girls other then her.
have you considered that she might be wearing it for you? i agree with iamheretohelp.. get her something to wear over it, that way you arent making her change into something she dont want to wear, instead shes just putting more over it, and then be sure to make her feel sexy in it, that way she keeps wearing it over the dress.
you dont need your girl half dressed at a club, but can you blame her for wanting to be the one everyone drools over? especially if she feels you drool over that same type too?
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (4 December 2011):
 Oh I forgot.. at New Years the clubs I go to always state "Dress to impress" and if your not looking good enough, sometimes you won't get in.
Also it's crazy, cause you want to look good and not get to hot, but it's also very cold (sometimes snowing) Nobody ever wants to carry a coat, because the queue for the cloakroom is a mile long. So be a good boyfriend and wear a jacket, you can cover her in that when she is outside the club.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (4 December 2011):
You have a right to your opinions, and of course you have a right to feel upset when other men stare. It's your emotions, you just can't turn them off and pretend you don't care. But, she has the right to wear what she wants. Sounds like you and her will be going out with some friends clubbing and dancing. You will be there at all times, so it's not a case of trusting her or not.
I go out clubbing, and normally I don't really like to wear clothes that are too revealing. But it's different at New Years. Firstly, all the other girls her age will be dressed up, and then will all be wearing the shortest, sexiest clothes that they can find. She has to do the same, or she will feel ugly, like an old woman who has no style. It's not about attracting male attention. If she wears a cardigan or a dress that is too plain, she'll get attention but for the wrong reasons. She'll look plain and ugly and it will ruin her night. The other reason why she is wearing such a see through dress, is clubs at New Year are totally packed with people. It gets very, very hot, and if she wears too much clothes, she'll be fainting by 12 o'clock.
New Year is the highlight of the clubbing year. Time to drink champagne, look good and feel sexy, say goodbye to the old year, and welcome the new one in. She wants to look her best for this special one night only. You'll be doing the same, but men get to wear more in our society. Usually at New Year when I go out, men dress in black tie, suit, thing, I've even known them to wear the top hat.
You can say.. "baby, love the dress, but I'm a man, I want dresses like that to be worn only at home. You look so good, I'm frightened some guy will steal you away."
She'll probably tell you to piss off, but maybe not, maybe she may change it, because she's not aware of how revealing it is. Please don't take offence. You say your piece, but it's up to her how to dress, especially since she pays for it.
Once went out in the new year, a girl was dressed in a bikini with a see through shirt.. she looked damned great, like a model on a read carpet. Everyone was staring, men and women, because she looked so beautiful, and she knew it, you could tell by the sexy walk and the confidence. Her man was smiling from ear to ear.. he may not have liked what she was wearing when she got dressed, but when he saw everyone's reaction, he was so damned proud of himself. "Yep, that's my girl, and don't she look great.. look everybody but don't touch and at the end of the night, she's coming home with me."
Have fun, and try not to get too upset, it's only a once a year thing, make her feel pretty and special in every way. Have fun, and have a great New Year.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 December 2011):
 Seriously, you need to let her wear what she wants to. She's not wearing to attract other men, she's wearing it to impress the ladies. Women dress to impress other women, about 99 percent of the time, because most guys don't even know what a halter neck is. What your girl here is wearing is a highly fashionable dress, see through top is quite modern, but also something only a fashion slave or very confident woman would wear.
I say let her wear what she pleases, and if you have a problem with her modern style then you need to find yourself a new girlfriend. If you find yourself being embarrassed about her clothing style then she ISN'T for you. Really. Either accept to go in this case. At least you should be letting her have her small outbursts when apparently she normally wears things that are very much within your tastes. What if she wanted to dress as a clown once? You'd have to let her.
Imagine if she gave you a hazzle about your shirts with "fun" text on them. Trust me, us girls hate those shirts. They make guys look stupid. But we still allow you to walk around in them without the hazzle. And the sagging pants where your ass hangs out, or where your boxers show. Why can you get to flash your underwear and she not? My ex once asked me to buy him bright orange boxers because he wanted to let them show whenever he was bending over. It was "stylish" to him to flash his underwear, and the more flashy the colour the better.
Styles variate. You gotta either accept it/close your eyes if it's a one time blunder, or get a new partner who agrees to always let you dress her up the way you want her to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): Hi
You just have to remember who she is going home with at the end of the night! If she feels confident in the dress then be proud to have her on your arm. And also girls who are happy in their relationships don't dress sexy just to get looks and compliments from other guys it's nothing to do with that, it just so happens than just because we might be in a relationship we don't want to stop being fashionable. When there are going to be other girls there as a woman I wouldn't want to go out and feel inadequate comparing myself to them and your girlfriend probably just wants to go out and feel like she looks as good if not better than the other girls there.
Don't worry about it and enjoy your night : )
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): I'm going to try and explain why she would want to wear it. Girls are very complex, to the point that if there are too many together for a long time, it'll cause problems and drama. 1. She could want the attention. It isn't because she's an "attention whore" or anything. Almost every girls wants attention. It feels good to have guys look at you. Its considered by many to be a compliment. It gives our self-esteem a boost, and not many girls have alot of self-esteem. Admit it, you would like it if you caught a girl looking at you in a "he's cute" way.2. She could want attention from YOU. Have you ever made the grave mistake of allowing yourself to get caught checking out another girl? That's a self esteem killer. She might want you to be staring only at her, and might want you to get a little jealous, especially if she's been feeling taken for granted.3. She might just think the dress is "in". I've seen dresses like that before. She might think its really cute and in style and wants to wear it for those reasons. To be honest, I always thought those dresses were really cute. 4. She might not see why it would make you uncomfortable. Think about your behavior. Have you ever gotten jealous (not saying being overly jealous is a good thing), or expressed that you don't like other girls wearing those types of clothing, regardless of what you feel about other people wearing them. She might be thinking "why would he care?". 5. She might be doing it to make you mad. Have you gotten overly jealous recently or have a pattern of being overly jealous? That can make girls really, really mad. So if thats the case she could just be doing it to spite you. Remember, these are all POSSIBILITIES. None of these are definite. Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 December 2011):
 What's to gripe??? IF she looks blisterin' hot, then YOU look like a guy who is getting on with a BLISTERIN' HOT girl!!! How many guys would sell their souls to be in your BVDs?????
Good luck... and Happy New Year....
P.S. Where are you going? I want to be there to ogle your lady-friend!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): Is she a sensible las? Do you trust her? If the answers are no, then you should probably find her somthing a bit more 1950's
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): You're not wrong to feel that way but there's nothing you can do. If you tell a girl her dress is too revealing then you're an "asshole" and "controlling". We guys are no longer allowed to give our opinions on things like that.
Don't buy her a cardigan boyfriends buying clothes for their girlfriends is 99% of the time a bad idea. She will see this as an attempt by you to control her or the cardigan you buy may look crap.
To be honest you need to reconsider your feelings here. Do you trust her? Do you think any of the guys looking at her are going to stand a chance with her? Or that she will do anything with them? If the answer is you do trust her and know that nothing will happen then there's no problem.
OP she's dressing like that because she wants to feel sexy, she wants to be noticed by guys which will make her feel even sexier, who do you think is going to benefit from all that when the lights go out in the club and the music stops? You of course. There is nothing better at making a woman horny than the feeling she looks beautiful and sexy as confirmed by the number of compliments and reactions she gets. If you trust her then you have nothing to lose by just getting over your feelings and enjoy the night with her. The man she most wants attention from is you, so you should be too busy drooling over her to notice anyone else doing it. Do you understand what I'm saying?
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A
male
reader, MrBrightside90 +, writes (3 December 2011):
MrBrightside90 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhmm I linked the dress, but maybe linking is not allowed. Well its basically a skirt and bra with a see through belly + back part and the top part is also see through.So basically a bra + skirt, that's what it looks like.
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