A
male
age
30-35,
*irindi
writes:I don't want To come across as another loser guy who only cares about sex because I'm not. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years now and I love her to bits.... But. Am I wrong to want a more exciting sex life? This has always been an issue for us because I have a Very high sex drive and hers is very low. At the moment we are 21 living together and have sex about once a week. And when we do it feels like the same thing, I go down on her until she comes (because she takes time to get wet) then we do missionary, cowgirl or doggy. She hates giving head and if I'm lucky I'll get a hand job (but I always have to ask so it feels like she doesn't want to do it). We occasionally watch porn together and I love it but it's still the same result when we get down to the sex. Whenever I bring my concerns up with her we fight or she just avoids the topic. I give her back rubs more often than we have sex. Again I love her to the moon and back and I'm always supportive and respectful but am I an ass hole for wanting more sex, to try new things and the occasional bj?
View related questions:
hand-job, porn, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2014): At the age of 21, if you have a high sex drive and you are coupled with someone who only wants it once a week, I am going to be perfectly honest with you, you are sexually incompatible. Do what you will, with this little tidbit of truth. You can either try to work on it reach a compromise with her, or leave the situation, find someone more compatible. And no you are not a loser for wanting to have more sex. Unless you are an old couple, married for 40 years, sex is usually integral to a male female relationship.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 August 2014):
 No , you are not an asshole for wanting more sex, to try new things, and to get a bj. But unluckily maybe you are just sexually incompatible with your gf . You are mismatched. You have different wants and needs, and neither one of you is " wrong ".
Your gf does not sound like a dramatic case of frigidity or prudeness or sexual malfunction, she just likes what she likes, which is not what you like.
She wants sex once a week, which I understand may not be enough for a 21 y.o. partner, but it is about average for lots of people ( females and males ).
She orgasms regularly , although through cunnilingus and not vaginal sex ( that's not strange either ).
She limits herself to 3 basic positions, and, take it from someone who was curious and when she still had the joint flexibility for doing it :), twisted herself into all kinds of weird Kamasutra positions, ...that's for show, to glamourize the performance, at the end of the day what feels more fulfilling and gratifyng are the ususal old basic staples you mention.
As for hating fellatio.. ah yes, that's sad for you- alas SOME women just won't like it and won't do it.
She knows what she likes and she likes vanilla sex , which does not make her sexually dysfunctional, just not the most suitable partner for you.
I realize that my answer is not very encouranging for you, and you can still try to fix things with a little tact and diplomacy, i.e. rather than making of this a bone of contention to fight about, or showing displeasure for your boring sex life, which puts her on the defensive, maybe gently encouraging her to share her fantasies, to communicate any secret wish she MIGHT have ? And compromising, like you'll take the lead one week each, - if in your week she accepts to introduce something new in the menu ( nothing really distasteful to her, maybe just a new position,for starters ? ) then the next you only and absolutely do what she wants when she wants, no requests no pressures. Even if she just wants to cuddle.
Or make it into a game. Every week she has to introduce something new into your lovemaking, but she gets to choose, so nothing too porn or challenging, maybe stuff like making love blindfolded , or blindfolding YOU, or wearing sexy lingerie,... tame stuff is good,as long as she gets comfortable with the idea of " new " .Maybe she will find something that floats her boat and will build up from theer.
If nothing works... unluckily there IS something like sexual incompatibility, if you can live with it in view of your general compatibility under other aspects, or not, that's only for you to decide.
...............................
|
