A
female
age
36-40,
*atcher00
writes:We work together.We've been together for 4 months.The girl has worked there for 3 months... she started a month after he and I began talking and dating...Two days after she started, she had his number. Bc she and I were walking to the happy hour together and she was like, "ohhh I'll just call Glenn to see exactly where it is..." it was her second day! And she also asked me if I was seeing anyone...so she was unaware of our relationship. I confronted him about this and he said "of course I kept it from her, we're trying to keep an office romance quiet." Meanwhile, he never hides it from anyone else...He got VERY angry when another girl "called him out" on flirting with the receptionist [me], in front of her...and that's why it made him mad, bc "She called me out on that in front of this new girl, it's her first week.." Apparently some girl made a comment just like "you're hittin on the receptionist...." yeah that prob shouldn't have made him THAT mad just bc it was in front of this girl....She has like 5 pictures of/with him on her facebook. *this girl has a boyfriend btw, and he's almost always at these happy hours w/ her, so I know nothing has HAPPENED for that reason--but I still feel like my bf has feelings for her,* So recently he went out to her little bday celebration which had about 5 of her own friends, her boyfriend, and like 2 people from our office...one girl, and my bf. I just feel like he loves seeing her!! He already sits next to her all day long, then he goes out w/ her [in a group but still] once a week!!!! UGH! Also, she is 23, she just graduated from college last year, so she's not really over her sorority days. It's understandable that she's still partying esp with "co-eds," but he's 29!!! It doesn't bother me when he's out w/ his male friends and co-workers, or in large groups...I've just had a nagging insecurity about this girl from the beginning...Am I wrong to be jealous? There is such a thing as emotional cheating, and justbc they're not gettin it on (which might happen down the road if she and her bf break up...], doesn't mean that he doesn't have a crush on her or have feelings for her..and I don't want to be that girl that he's settling for bc he can't have who he really wants...
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co-worker, crush, facebook, flirt, has a boyfriend, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, catcher00 +, writes (4 August 2011):
catcher00 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the input everyone. I fear I was a little unclear-- he and I ARE exclusive already... the girl, by now, has a sense that he and I are seeing each other bc as you know, word spreads. Her not being aware occurred her first week with the company (some time has since passed.) Also, I forgot to mention that they work in the same department, which accounts for why they should exchange numbers at all. But I agree with everyone, that a conversation needs to take place. Thank you all!
A
female
reader, amenthyst3356 +, writes (3 August 2011):
I would just tell the girl you are dating him and if he gets upset you know your answer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): Seriously he is dis-respecting you! You've been together just 4 months, this should be the honeymoon period and here he is flirting around with this other girl. Its no wonder your insecure. He should tell everyone about you and make you an axclusive couple. That way, when he gets invited to all these social events, you can go with him!
If he refuses then I doubt you two will work because at 4 months, to not trust your boyfriend already at this stage is just flogging a dead horse!
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A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (3 August 2011):
 To start off,work place romances normaly are never wise to get involved in. Yes working so closely,needing to trust and depend upon each other can lead to people falling in love,but non the less they remain tricky
You have been dating around 4 months and are still getting to know each other. Feelings of jealousy and insecurity concerning the competition on your part are understandable and your BF is doing little to reassure you,infact he is taking advantage of the fact that office relationships are generally frowned upon to keep it all hush hush,and in essence giving him a free pass to have his cake and eat it too
To carry on with this particular relationship,be prepared for more drama by way of competition from other women and the strain one or the both of you may feel as you try to keep it under wraps
Fine you may feel emotional about him and attracted to him,but in all honesty,is he the kind of man you want to have something serious with?
You have shared your concerns with him but everytime he whips out his carte blanche,neutralizing further discussion on the matter and carrying on in pursuit of his next conquest(after all you and all the other women there are all just colleagues and thus all is fair game)
I have seen such romances turn into something wonderful but the numbers arent in your favour
Your gut is telling you that something is amiss,and it probably is right. If you feel you can't trust him and you dont want to be the girl he just settles for,then END IT!!
Getting into LDRs,work place romances,dating a married man/woman etc etc are generaly rough waters for one to try to manoeuvre,and alot of times people end up getting hurt
Do what is best for you. Wish you luck!
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