A
female
age
41-50,
*osmicMary
writes:Does anyone else in Long Term relationships sometimes wonder what life could have been like if you were with someone else?My example.. I was with my Ex for 5 years then I met my boyfriend as things wern't working out with my Ex as he was always stoned and never worked.. I got sick of it and lost my love for him. I have been with my current boyfriend for 6 years and have been in touch with my Ex.. he has cleaned up and has been working and looks really good. We met up a few times for a drink ect and he has told me he still loves me and thinks we should get back together.. I don't know how I feel.. Sometimes I cry and wish things would have been different - Why couldnt he be like he is now back then.. But then I feel bad because I do love my current boyfriend and maybe its just nostalgia?..... My Ex was the love of my life all those years ago or am I seeing things through 'rose tinted glasses'
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): you didn't leave your ex until you met your current boyfriend. Now you're still with your bf yet thinking about your ex just cos he has now cleaned up his act and looks better than before.
You need to end the relationship you're in first before you start even wondering about other ones. If you're unhappy with your current bf then you break up and see who else is out there. but as long as you're still with someone, then you don't think about other people. End of.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (3 August 2011):
 That's for you to decide. You say you love your current boyfriend, but you don't call him the love of your life, you state your ex could be? Take away his working, or not, being stoned or not, and view him as an individual. I understand how you would have like it to have been different, and it sounds like he learned a powerful lesson, because he's cleaned himself up, but without all of that, how do you see him? Who was he to you, and when you think about him (not the past) how does thoughts of him make you feel?
I believe at times we have lessons we have to learn. Some of which are hard lessons. Could loosing you have been the motivation for him to clean up his act? We can't say, but it's possible. If so, your leaving was what he needed. Relationship wise, it wasn't your time to be together. If now is, that's up for you to decide. It doesn't sound like the guy you're with now is the love of your life, because you're asking this question. The difference is that when you are with the love of your life, questioning whether or not you should be with another dissipates, because you know.
I hope this helps. Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): u obviously left him for a reason... and just because he has changed now doesnt mean he will make you happy... you need to stop seeing him and stick to the guy that is not wasting your time like he once did.
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