A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Am I wrong that my boyfriend is spending time with his ex wife and sons? I think he should be doing things with his sons only not including his ex wife?????
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): He married her and yes, divorced her, but she will always.. always be in his life. You have to accept that. The kids need to see mommy and daddy together. They need to learn that despite arguements, incompatability and disagreements, two people can still be civil and get along. Especially when there are more important things at stake. (kids). I'm sure it's hard seeing him spending time with his ex but you cannot expect him to shut her out of his life completely and pretend that she does not exsist. She is the mother of his children, he NEEDS to see her. I'm sorry that you're having trouble with this. If you feel that he is spenging too much time with her, then maybe you can calmy and reasonably talk to him about it and suggest a solution, but remember, that you can't force her out of his life. If you can't handle it, then you may be better off finding a guy with less baggage. Goodluck!~Sy.
A
female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (28 August 2009):
 I think its important for his children to see their mother and father behaving civilly together, especially if they went through a paticularly bitter divorce. Its good for his kids to see a functional relationship between their parents, where they can be together without arguing even though they are no longer together/in love.The point where you should be worried is if your boyfriend starts to act lovingly towards his exwife, or spends time with her without their children and without checking with you first. Apart from that, i dont think its wrong of him to spend time with the whole of his former family together - but if it does bother you, then just talk to him about it :) good luck! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): This is a very very common angst among "stepmoms" Interestingly, virtually all of those whom share your pain have yet to have their own biological children plus have gone through a divorce.While I'm certain you've heard all the explanations and they still don't make sense to you, it is important to remember that your man is not with his ex for a very strong reason, and I am sure he does not want his ex there while he performs his fatherly duties. Parents, particularly caring ones from a divorce have been through countless painful nights without their children and long enough to decide they will do what it takes to be there with and for their kids, even if the ex has to be on site.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (28 August 2009):
 I can see your point, and it would bother anybody, but the answer to your questions is "It depends". Let me use some examples. If "hanging out" means "making plans together to go to the movies and eat dinner afterwards, this beautiful Sunday", then that's bad. If, on the other hand, "hanging out" means "attending a reunion involving HER FAMILY", or "attending the son's graduation ceremony and sitting together", then that's not wrong.
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