A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My whole life I’ve never wanted the traditional family life - ie getting married and having children of my own. I’ve always wanted to marry an older man with grown up children and be part of their life, I guess I’ve always wanted a ready made family. I have no idea why but it just appeals. Before anyone jumps to conclusions- I’m not after anyone with money - I have a very successful career, I have my own home and car. I’m financially secure.I’ve dated a few men - mostly older - I’mIn my late 30’s and I’ve dated men mostly in their 50/ early 60s and a few my own age but guys my own age do nothing for me. I’m attracted to much older men. I find older men more attentive and behave like gentleman- opening car doors, enjoying more exquisite dates such at the opera and fine dining, their conversation is more stimulating in general they are more classier. I also think I’m an old soul - I never like pubbing and clubbing, even in my later teens/20’s. Unfortunately family and friends have issues with this they don’t feel it’s “normal” and I should be with someone my own age etc…. I don’t see why I have to justify how I feel- I’m not having affairs, or using anyone so what is the big deal? Is it such a weird thing that it’s not acceptable??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2024): Maybe you are seeking a father figure? Just a thought.
If you prefer older men that is your choice. Please be aware though, that age differences can create difficulties, especially in later life when one slows down and the other doesn't, which could be very frustrating.
Everyone is different though and some couples can make it work when there's an age gap.
I'm guessing your family and friends are just looking out for you and want you to be happy.
I hope things work out for you,
.
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (9 May 2024):
 At the end of the day its your life not theirs and its your life to lead and you should do so which ever way you want to regardless of what anyone's opinions.
You do not have to justify how you feel, you are in your 30's not late teens.
Like you rightly say you are not having affairs, your not using anyone so this really is no big deal in my opinion.
If everyone was the same and we all liked the same thing, and did the same things the world would be a very boring place.
Just never change who you are or what you like to suit others because if it was reversed i bet they would not for you.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (9 May 2024):
 It doesn't matter what others think its your preferences. You aren't hurting anyone so who cares? Be happy and don't care what others think. They dont have to live your life. You do.
Just my own experience but I would not go out with an older man again. My first husband was 6 months younger than me. He was extremely immature. My 2nd husband was 10 years older than I was. He treated me well and was kind and caring but he became an alcoholic. I spent 10 years taking care of him. He died when he was 69 and I was not even 60. He had a series of strokes and it was like taking care of a baby. You do realize that if you get with an older man especially a significantly older man that you might wind up being a nursemaid? Not to throw rain on your parade but something to think about. Maybe that's what your family/friends are concerned about?
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (9 May 2024):
 This is strange as I don't know why you care at this point what others think. They plain and simply don't get you. And probably never will.
But it doesn't matter, you know what you want and need and trying to conform will just make you miserable. So don't.
Your not hurting anyone or causing any trouble. So its all fine.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2024): No, there is nothing wrong with what you want. If you wanted to stay single and celibate or look into polyamory or date females/women your own age that would be fine too!
You're financially stable, independent, and you know the type of men you're attracted to and that's OK. If you're not dependent on family, I think it's very hard to detach from their opinions and feelings bc they probably mean a lot to you - they matter but they shouldn't be critiquing. Have you asked why what you want is weird to them? Just bc it isn't what they want doesn't mean it's wrong. I'm 45 with a grown son and 3 step children who are 29, 34, and 37. My husband is 60 and ready to retire. We help with 2 grand babies. My 23 year old son has 2 step siblings who are 16 and 12 on his dads side and I get along w his dad and step mom. They're good people. I agree older men are where it's at, you're not alone
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 May 2024):
 Op, you say you are in your late 30's, so why are you still taking the critiques of family and friend about who you should date?
I could see a parent being concerned if you were in your early 20's and wanting to date men in their 50 or 60 because there would be such a difference in life experience and probably in oncome.
But with you, you are a independent and financially stable adult in her late 30's. By now, you KNOW what you like in a partner.
Do you need to be extra sure that the men are truly single and not just trying to get a younger woman (you) on the side? Sure, but these days that goes for any age group.
I don't think it's weird. I think it's VERY common for men in their 50 and up go for a younger second/third wife.
Personally, I wouldn't want to date someone significantly older (your younger) than myself, but that is a person preference like yours is to date older guys.
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