A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy at work who I thought likes me, but now he behaves as though he hates me. He would always come and try to talk to me and flirt with me, but I realized he liked another girl as well,and because he was talking to me, the girl became jealous. I ended up seeing him getting jealous when the girl was talking to another guy. He would always watch me while walking and try to seduce me and now he hates me and avoids me. He even went as far as posting a picture of this girl and him together so I would see it and he knew I was into him. I had feelings for him, and he went to be with this girl and humiliated me because others seen him flirting with me, then he posts someone else with him for everyone to see. I still have feelings for him and I want to ask him why he would do such a thing. H tries to avoid me. I don't know why he would hurt me like this. What should I do? Should I confront him? Should I just let him go? I can't get him off my mind....
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at work, flirt, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2024): It sounds like the other girl flirted with others to make him jealous and it worked. Unfortunately some men do flirt. It's possible now that he has chosen her he will flirt with others. Men like what they can't get, then when they can, they get bored or back off.
I'm sorry you feel so hurt. It would be worse if you'd entered a relationship with him.
Personally I don't like flirtatious men. I would be afraid they would cheat.
The man is avoiding you because he feels guilty, and people like that become worse if you confront them. You would look desperate too. Save yourself for someone less fickle who wants you and nobody else.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2024): Please listen to the other posters and do not confront him and try not to get involved with someone at work. I am just going through something similar where I was involved with someone higher up. I never thought they would do this and turn on me due to the relationship tension but it turned into lots of embarrassing, awkward office drama and almost cost me my job! Not to mention stress and my credibility as a professional and how my coworkers view and treat me (plus our supervisor who got involved)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2024): You are a typical entitled immature silly young woman. Confront him because he made a choice that did not suit you He can flirt with or stop flirting with anyone he wants. You do not own him. He does not have to do what you want. Even if you are married to someone and living with them it is their choice how they spend their time and who interests them. And you have to be more interesting and more exciting if you don't want them to prefer someone else. He had a narrow escape. You are far too possessive and clingy and needy.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (10 May 2024):
 No You should 100% not confront him, think yourself lucky you found out what an idiot he is when you did and never took things further possibly leaving your job in jeopardy.
Put this behind you and put your energies into the job at hand and not into him.
You will get over this in no time, and i would advise seeking relationships away from the workplace.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2024): Please don't contact him, yout dignity is worth more. He sounds like a game player
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (10 May 2024):
 You are there to work.
Not to engage in a pathetic teenage drama.
Its get outside and start a hobby time for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 May 2024):
 Should I confront him?
Nah, you should THANK your lucky star that the slimy office Don Juan has moved on from you.
He didn't like YOU - he liked the attention you gave him, and he LIKED that it makes another woman jealous.
If you are looking for a REAL relationship, not some teenage drama then LOOK for a partner OUTSIDE of work. Your workplace is not a dating "site" not should all this drama/flirty business be going on.
Personally? He sounds like an assclown.
Look for a BETTER man, it can't be too hard. Also ignore him back. Pretend (until you actually feel it) that me means nothing and you have better taste than some self-centered man-whore.
No need to feel humiliated. YOU dodged a bullet. Yeah, you might have a little egg on the fact but next week there will be some other drama and people WILL forget.
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