Am I wasting my time with all these trust issues or should I move on?

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

So Im not sure what to do. I am a lesbian in a relationship with a girl whom I love very much. However I just cant seem to trust her. We start dating in April of 2008 and afer about two months I started getting the feeling that she was cheating on me. She constantly reassured me that she wasnt and we fought over it all the time. On the fourth of July we were supposed to go out and watch the fireworks but she left to go get some food and never came back to the house until about midnight. She wouldnt answer my phone calls but would answer my texts and stated that she had been pulled over for driving without insurance. I had the feeling that she was with her best friend whom is also someone she had slept with in the past. Shortly after this we broke up because I let it get the best of me. We then again got back together in early september and I found out that she had run straight to this girl when we broke up. Then in November she came to me and broke up with me and said that she needed a break from our relationship so that she could work on herself and her own issues. A week later we were back together. Shortly after this I found out that she was infact with this girl on the fourth of july and that she also had sex with this girl the week that we were split. She has spent thousands of dollars on this girl during the period that we have been together and states that she does it because this girls son is her godson and it helps better his life. She also states that I am ruining our relationship by not letting this issue go and that she never cheated on me because we were broken up. She has left me hanging several times when we have had plans and not shown up. Is what she did with this girl cheating even though we were broken up? And should I end this relationship? Who is in the right? Am I just being to hung up on this issue by saying that she should not be having contact with this girl? My girlfriend has also gone out of her way to help this girl and several of her friends with their kids and when they need something and says how much she adores kids but when it comes to my kids she makes comments like "I shouldnt have to help with your kids but I do cause thats the type of person I am!" Am I wasting my time here and should I move on?

View related questions: a break, best friend, broke up, cheated on me, got back together, lesbian, move on, period, text

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A female reader, triedit  +, writes (8 March 2009):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009):

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