A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy at a party a few weeks ago. I am 21 and he is 20. He was really shy and kept staring at me but I didn't really notice him at first, and then he got drunk and we were flirting quite a bit. I get the feeling he is generally a very quiet person though.He added me on a social networking site and we got chatting, and now we talk every day, and for like 2 or 3 hours at once without stopping. We kind of take it in turns to initiate the conversation and it is always just kept very friendly, not really flirty. I really like this guy now I have got to know him much better. I would love to meet up with him, we have a ridiculous amount of things in common and get on very well. He lives a little while away but not too far.I am usually very good at knowing whether someone fancies me, and at the party I would have bet money that he did. I quite often get guys chat me up but I don't want them, I want this guy, and he's pretty much the only one that doesn't. I have hinted at him hugely over the net but he just goes really quiet. I just now basically told him in a lighthearted way I think he's cute, and then after a very awkward silence, he said he needs to sleep. He has never been the one to cut off the conversation before! I know he is straight and doesn't have a girlfriend, and if I stop talking to him he always initiates the conversation again.Guys, what do you think? Am I wasting my time? Does he just like talking cause he's bored? Am I scaring him off? Is it cause I'm a bit older?
View related questions:
drunk, flirt, money, shy, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey everyone, I just re-read this after not going on this site since asking this question. Thought you might be interested to know I ended up going out with this guy ever since for the last year and a half, and we have had a wonderful relationship. I am sadly back on here now as I think we're about to break up... But he was the best thing to happen to me, and we'll remain best friends I hope. Thanks Cupids!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your answers, they've really helped me feel less crushed by his inability to flirt! But still, I have to say my confidence in talking to him has taken a bit of a knock. I am generally a very friendly, confident person but...I don't know whether I should take a step back now and if he wants to he can get in touch with me (but I have to say with his lack of confidence I think it would simply cut iff contact), or keep going like I have been. I haven't always been this confident so I know a bit of how he feels, but not to such an extent! I did kind of ask him out a while back, I asked if he wanted to come out with me and my friends (he knows them) sometime, and he said he would love to but doesn't have the travel money or the time at the moment. But it didn't sound like an excuse. Although, if he asked me, I wouldn't waste a second, so maybe he's not into me. Ugh, Thanks anyway everyone!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): its my opinion he's shy quiet type guy (may even be classified as a nice guy also) his actions before getting those few drinks in him suggests he was shy. getting drunk often free's one from one inhibitions .and if shy when not drunk ,will open up and says whats really on their minds if they are drunk. shy guys (shy people in general) are shy for many reasons but one of the biggest is the fear of rejection. some of these guys that are shy have at some timje in their lives been really hurt badly because of a rejection by someone he thought he cared for (and he thought they cared for him as well) but rudely got dumped or humiliated in front of a group of people because of the rejection. yes this affects many guys (especially shy guys whose self confidence isn't very high ) also many shy guys are clueless as to what makes girls tic anyways. also your hints , 1. he may think what your saying is just you being nice2. because of his shyness if your anywhere near being pretty he may find it hard to believe someone like you would be interested in him.things you can do to know for sure whats on his mind.do a google on shy guys body language read at least 10 articles(i suggest even more) after reading these you'll understand this guy even better than you do now, these search pages even tell you how to's on getting and dating shy guys .hope some of this helps
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): You should ask him to go out for a coffee and talk to him face to face, if he doesn't accept or insists on dating again for another day that never turns up to be ok for his agenda, or even if you date and doesn't make the move to ask for a second date or shows real interest.... then it's time either to consider him just a good friend or to move on,Perhaps you shouldn't dedicate so much time to him on the phone, if he shows interest in dating or seeing you when he's scared to lose you, then it's the time to go out together or to consider other guys as possible options.
...............................
A
male
reader, jc2008 +, writes (29 August 2011):
I wouldn't say its an age thing as he is a year younger. Hes probably a bit insecure and looks at you and thinks "why does a girl like you want a guy like me". Its disappointing what he has done by cutting the conversation, I would case him once more and tell him straight that you really like him and he isn't going to put you off. Hopefully he will start to come out of himself more and you can both go from there. Hope it works out for you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): My first thought was he's either dating or gay!
He must enjoy chatting to you,getting to know you but why he's not asking you out is a mystery. Maybe he thinks you will say no? Lack of confidence is the only reason I can think of because he didnt approach you at the party till he had a drink inside him.
Can't you suggest a film you want to see and ask if he wants to come with you? Pick one you think he will like.
...............................
|
