A
female
age
,
*ilting
writes:I've been with my partner for 7 years. We are both divorced, have families, baggage if you like. It hasn't been easy but we have some good times in our social life. The problem is he doesn't want sex, not with me anyway. I have caught him 3 times over the last few years using internet sex chat rooms, then emailing women in Poland and more recently in an Internet interactive room. I have tried to rekindle and suggest things but he doesn't want to know. On the rare occasion when he does, he keeps his eyes shut. We recently went over a year without sex as I got fed up of trying. We are now at last chance alley and it's a slow process. It's still up to me to make the first move, the suggestion...am I wasting my time even though he claims he wants me?
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female
reader, Wilting +, writes (30 June 2015):
Wilting is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks everyone. Mostly you have confirmed my existing thoughts but also given me new ones to think over and maybe act on. Really appreciate you taking the time to write. Maybe i'll be back with chapter two. God bless.x
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 June 2015):
 I don't think it's unreasonable for a couple to share chores, I DO think that many couples fall into stereotypical splitting of chores (where the woman does most of the "menial" work, cleaning, washing, cooking and the men do the mowing of the lawn etc).
I think having a chore list and splitting it is a good idea, I also think IF he is not pulling his weight with the chores to LET him know it's not OK. IF he doesn't "get" it I would do the same (just to show him that it DOES take two of you to keep on top of it).
I think talking about how you perceive things (such as you feel he isn't as INTO you or doesn't seem to want sex) and get to the bottom of it and if nothing changes... decide what to do next.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 June 2015):
 With a ZILLION guys in this world, and in your age group, looking for a great partner like you.... WHY would you even begin to imagine that there's anything possible between you and this guy?????
Move on....
Good luck....
P.S. Do you want my phone number????
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A
female
reader, Wilting +, writes (30 June 2015):
Wilting is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have thought about that, like how often does he do it, im under no illusion, i expect its loads. I have also wondered if he just wants a housemaid (yes we live together). From what i understand over the last few years his mum did everything for him, as did his ex wife. But i work full time and have a mentally demanding job, ive made it clear that if he wants a housemaid then im not it. I expect chores to be shared. Is that unreasonable?
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A
female
reader, Wilting +, writes (30 June 2015):
Wilting is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Honeypie. I needed an objective opinion. call me old fashioned but I dont suppose I thought that he just doesnt want it. My first thought was that he's just gotten lazy? I still think theres an element of that. Maybe I should just come right out and ask him if he wants sex at all? If not then I need to decide if I want to live without it. Unfortunately I feel its all part and parcel of a relationship, the intimacy and love...not the be all and end all of course but it is important to me.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 June 2015):
That depends on what you want. If you want a relationship WHERE sex is part of it.. then YES you are wasting your time with this fella.
Can be his libido isn't what it used to be - it's easier to "pretend to be sexual" on the internet than in bed with a partner. ( I you get my point).
If you are ALWAYS the one to initiate, I don't think he actually WANTS sex. Just the IDEA of it. (as in sex chats).
Keeping your eyes shut during sex doesn't mean you don't want to be with your partner sexually though. If he can still keep it up and perform and orgasm - he is enjoying it - eyes open or shut.
If he has a touch of ED it can be he is shutting his eyes to "concentrate" so he won't go flaccid in the middle of things. Again, it doesn't mean he ISN'T attracted by you. It's his OWN body he is fighting. (so to speak).
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