A
female
age
30-35,
*shxs
writes:Can I have some advice please. i'm 16 and with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. I have thought this through 100 times and all the aspects that need to be covered. I am also a trainee hairdresser, but I really want a baby. so does my boyfriend, however he is older than me. I am worried that it will wreck my career and that I may be too young but I really do want a baby. can you give your opinions..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): waaaaaay too young. you have your whole life to live.
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (12 January 2010):
 I know you think you're ready at 16, but two things. One, the money. Everyone else pretty much has that covered, so I'm not going to say anything about that. But two, lots of guys say they want a baby with a girl, but often times it's not a real attempt to start a life together to really have a baby. It's sometimes a control thing. If you do have a baby, how can you guarantee you'll be together for long enough to raise it together? You're not old enough to legally be married and you're at a point in your life where things change dramatically and fast. You're very young so you don't have to worry about the biological clock. If you really want a baby so much, you'll still want one in a few years when you have more legal rights! This will not occupy 18 years, this will occupy the rest of your life. This decision should take a long time to make, and you should wait until your life has some more stability.
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female
reader, tysgirly13 +, writes (12 January 2010):
If it is what you really desire and want to do then do it. It will not be easy. I personally have not been pregnant but I have had a few friends that have been. After they had a kid their lives went downhill pretty damn fast. If you have thought it over completely then do what you want. Most people will anyway. But see it as the end of all your fun, all the time you spent with your friends, all the free days you had just to relax and enjoy your own company. It will all be gone in just a short nine months.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (12 January 2010):
There's a probably a huge list of questions like this you can find on this website. Just about everyone will say, yes, you are too young.
Aside from a child being a financial burden and a huge responsibility--you will have NO life. Everything will revolve around your baby. I know girls that had their first baby at 21 and feel that they were too young when they look back now. None of them are with their first child's father AND they say that they weren't such a good parent then as compared to now (one of which is my sister who's now 39).
You won't be able to go out with your friends, you can't just go shopping anymore, you can't take a shower whenever, heck-you can't even go to the bathroom! I know you may think you have a live-in babysitter such as a parent (if this is the case), but sometimes that's not all that good either. Because then it's way too easy for you to go out and party and basically neglect your child while someone else raises it. You have plenty of time to have a baby, definitely wait until you're older and more mature.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010): I had thought of the same thing many times when I was your age. I always came to the same conclusion, though. What if I couldn't handle raising a child? What would it be like for them? I thought of that, and of my future and how my job opportunities could drop because of having a child. So, do what I did. Babysit and stuff as often as possible and get close to the kids. Treat them as if they were your own. And once you have a steady job, you're done with school or whatever else is going on in your life, and you think it would be good for the child, then try to have a baby. But just remember, once you have one, it's never what you want. It's always what they need. You lose a lot of your freedom until theyre old enough to have a life themselves. I hope this helps, and good luck with whatever decision you make! =)
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (12 January 2010):
 If you're not in a position to provide everything for your child, you're not ready.
Think about it from the child's perspective... is that the kind of life any child would want, or deserve?
There are so many things that you haven't done, or seen, yet, that it would be difficult to do if you were to have a kid.
You're only 16... you have your whole life to have a child.
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (12 January 2010):
 Yes, you are far too young to have a baby, no matter how much you want one. Please listen to what Caringguy has written. His advice is spot-on.
You have your whole life ahead of you, you know. I hope you will choose to wait for a few more years.
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female
reader, l1f35ux +, writes (11 January 2010):
 In my opinion, 16 is just way too young to be tied down to a child. You may love children and really want a child, but i dont think you are truly considering all the responsibility that comes along with a child. Plus not to mention the money. Did you know that a mother spends as much as $100 a week just on diapers and formula. Not to mention all the doctor visits, and other things you have to provide your child with. If you really want to be around children and take care of one, get a job baby-sitting, or in a day-care facility. But i do recommend that you wait until you are a little older, and are more able to financially support your child. Plus, wait to have a child, so you can travel, and get married, and party.
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female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (11 January 2010):
 you're not too young hunny, but you've got your whole life ahead of you. Have you considered how much of your time will be consumed on raising your own child? as much as you would love your child and enjoy bonding with him/her, you want to live your own life too! but how can you live your young years to the fullest if you have a baby to look after? Your friends will be going out partying, booking holidays and having the time of their lives... whereas you and your boyfriend will be tied down with a child! I think you should wait a few more years. Plus take into account what 'CaringGuy' said, money! it doesn't grow on trees, and you're going to need a lot of it...
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female
reader, weepingwillow  +, writes (11 January 2010):
Are you pregnant now? I really do think that 16 is too young to have a baby. You say that you are worried that you're too young and that having a baby might wreck your career, well if you have doubts about something as big as having a baby then you are better off waiting until you're older and ready. You have your whole life ahead of you, why not wait a few years until you're older and capable of properly providing for a child?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 January 2010):
I always answer this question with the same answer. And that is money. I'm sure you do want one, but the fact is that you probably can't afford one yet. In Britain, on average it costs £120000 upwards to raise a child until it is 18. Then there is education, housing, lifestyle and such. And you're still in training, so it could wreck your career chances. Don't forget, it's still difficult for a women to get a job if she has a child. I would suggest you wait until you're in a far better financial position, so you can give your child the best possible start in life.
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