A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok i am like 20 y/o and i wanna know is it normal to be able to talk to a female, on msn/yahoo/aim/games/phone easier than talking upfront to em? i get all nervous while even being near a female, sometimes i have tears coming down my face but i do not feel sad, i feel all weird its a feeling i cannot explain :( is it normal?is it possible that i'm just not ready for a relationship or that i dont ever want one?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso i take it as its normal to be able to talk to people over the net easier than in person :/ i was always quite shy, but i was able to talk to females with ease, but thanks for the advice :)
A
male
reader, Mat_auw  +, writes (11 July 2009):
 Hi!
I'm not sure if there have been any scientific tests to see if it is indeed easier for guys to interact with girls online rather than face-to-face, but there is certainly no need for an experiment to confirm just how much more uninhibited people tend to be in their online personas. Just look at all the insults, flaming and expletives that get spilled in chat rooms and whatnot...
So yes, what you're experiencing is probably normal. Especially for us males who are generally known as the gender with poorer inter-personal and linguistic skills.
Unfortunately I don't think there's an easy way out of this problem. No pain no gain and practice makes perfect. If you wanna learn how to be relaxed while talking to females, you gotta start talking to them. Don't view every conversation with a female as the start of a serious relationship, because it isn't. Women want to make guy friends too but, no matter what feminists say, still prefer the man to make the first move. So be the man! You don't have to talk "female" stuff either - remember they play msn/yahoo/games etc too...
If you run out of things to say, just ask the lady a question and let her do the talking. There's a study somewhere that shows that good listeners are considered to be good conversationists by the people talking to them!
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (11 July 2009):
 Young man, it is very normal in many youths to have this type of anxiety. we all suffer from it at one time or another. And being that with messenger you can shut the computer off and walk away is part and parcel of why messenger is used.
If it really is upsetting you to the point of tears however, it may be something different. Since I am not a medical expert if you feel it is an extreme case. then please ask a medical professional and see if perhaps you may be suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): It appears to me that you just are nervous around women. This is normal to some extent, for example it's perfectly normal to be able to talk to somebody over the internet more easier than you would be able to talk to that person face to face.
However if it's getting to the extent that you are feeling too nervous to talk to any women face to face your just going to have to try to overcome this fear aspect you have if you want to get into a relationship with somebody.
Most women like confident men therefore if you was to start crying in front of the woman you like she may feel uncomfortable/think that she is the problem thats the reason why your upset.
To build your confidence around women practise in front of a mirror. Pretend you are talking to a woman and the things that you would say. If it helps practise with your friend.
Remember she obviously must like you to be talking to you in the first place over the internet so try and have a bit more confidence in yourself :)
Good luck :) X
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A
male
reader, DLover  +, writes (11 July 2009):
it is certainly normal that you find it harder to speak face to face to attractive women than on the web and etc, I feel the same, but not as strong as you. Tears are a sign of a strong reaction, it can be a positive or negative feeling, it's not necessarily bad !
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (11 July 2009):
 I couldn't believe it reading your question! It could've been written by a very close male friend of mine and we were just talking about this the other day.
He has exactly the same problem, he's just fine when he's texting or talking to a girl on msn but when it comes to being face to face he'd rather let her believe that he doesn't like her than pluck up the courage to talk.
I don't think it's because you don't ever want a relationship. It could be that you're not ready but I think it's more likely to be extreme shyness. The only way around this is to force yourself to talk to girls, maybe build up to it gradually. What are you like with your female friends? This friend of mine even has trouble talking to female friends about anything meaningful like how he's feeling but he's been practicing this with me so maybe that's something you could try with a girl you feel comfortable with? Then you've just gotta get out there and take that first step in approaching a girl.
So I just wanted to let you know that yes, you're normal, there are other people that are going through exactly the same thing!
Good luck! x
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (11 July 2009):
 yes its always easier to talk to the opposite sex via the net, fone, msn, and always harder in reality ;)
u probably get these feeling of anxiety becoz ur not used to talking to girls much in a face to face situation.
to get rid of this anxiety , u need to talk all the time to girls face to face rather than through the latest technology!
this will help gid rid of that weird feeling.
i always find striking up a conversation with a random stranger normally helps with confidence.
also ur body will let u know when & if your ready for a relationship, so dont worry.
good luck
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