A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months. We are really close. He would never ever cheat on me. Yet I still have jealousy issues. I feel like my jealousy is severe. Like some other women, I don't like when my boyfriend watches TV because I know he sees other women nude from time to time. He likes a show called *Spartacus* ... Lots of sex scenes in that show. He says he doesn't watch the old episodes that used to have a whole lot of sex in them. He also says he likes the battles scenes. He told me when those scenes came on he fast forwards them. I kind of believe him... But even when you fast forward you still see it. I'll upsets me. The other night I got so few up with it that I broke down crying and just said, " I will not control if you watch this show or not, but it hurts me so much. I feel that as your girlfriend I should be the only girl you see naked... Even if you only see another girl naked for a second" I know I cant hide him from naked women. But it hurts. I have my own insecurity issues. He doesn't watch porn though, and I'm glad for that. Am I insane? Crazy? Too jealous?
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female
reader, Alex4537 +, writes (1 September 2017):
Girl I completely agree with you no your not jealous or thinking it too much I am in the same thing like when I watch movies and see a guy on tv who's naked on vidoes I don't look because I only have my eyes on the one I love & so should he . But you should trust & believe him when he says he don't look or skip it . You should only have eyes on one person
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2013): I totally understand your feelings!!! I am that same way! I am remarried to a handsome, honorable, faithful man. I know he would never cheat on me.
His late wife & him would watch porn together, SHE would bring home playboy magazines & throw them at him! They enjoyed strippers together! Etc, etc! But this is NOT me!!! When we first met, he told me he enjoyed going to see strippers!! I thought, geez this will not work! I have playfully stripped for him, so I know what his satisfaction, enjoyment face looks like!! I worry if he's out with the guys that they'll want to see strippers. He says he won't go, he respects that I don't like it. But during hunting season, they meet at a bar and I worry strippers will be there!! I envision the face of satisfaction he makes for me & I don't want that face for other women!!! I don't want him to see ANY OTHER women naked.....period!! Not movies, not strippers, not VS ads....just me!!! I feel we are in a committed relationship and he should touch, enjoy & SEE only his wife naked!!! We went to the Bahamas 6 months ago & I had to research where we could go to totally avoid any topless sunbathing!!! We never see movies cause I can't stand that EVERY R rated movie has naked women!! Men will never get it!! Unless they start making movies with men sporting boners constantly!!! I even got implants to fix my 4 baby, breastfed, shrunken boobs!! He's an ass man he tells me. But I still knew I looked deflated!!! I was 126 lbs in my previous marriage & when that went bad I couldn't eat & shrunk down to 95 lbs. from a C cup to an A cup!! I'm now 112 lbs. he loves my ass, I work out to keep it nice for him & my competition!! Ugh!! I know I will NEVER get over this & feel better about him seeing other naked women!!! Recently, I went to FL with my daughter. While I was gone he took his 2 little kids for haircuts. They always rent a movie then. So I texted & asked if he got a movie too. NO, he said, no time since he'll be watching the kids 2 movies. U sure I said?? No, relax, I didn't get a movie. He lied 3 times when I specifically asked!! Ok, if I ask the kids what movie daddy got, I BET they can tell me!! Then the truth came out!!! Of course he blamed ME & my fears for why HE LIED!!! He got an R rated movie that has a stripper scene in it!! He KNEW I would not see this movie with him due to the strippers!! So WHY get it??? Ugh!!! I just can't believe he took my being gone as his big chance to see the movie!! He understands WHY I feel this way, claims if strippers came in the bar during hunting that he'd leave, BUT the fact that he rented this movie knowing full well how I felt, I DOUBT if he'd leave when strippers come since he told me when he 1st met that he enjoys the "entertainment" and dancing!!! This hurts us, we can't see movies, I have parental locks on TVs. We will NEVER get pay channels!! I get emails telling me when they have a trial (free) HBO, Cinemax, etc & I don't dare tell him!!! I don't know what to do, I'll never get over this!! I'm not getting younger & sexier(I'm 44)!!! Harley Davidson 105th events also had to be very carefully planned!! Too much skank stuff goes on for that too!!! God!!! What is this world coming to?!? And we wonder why there is so much infidelity?? Cheating, etc!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): I'm going against the grain of everyone here.WHY should she have to "suck it up"? It's obviously a huge issue for her. People have to deal with enough shit from day to day without having to feel like shit about what their partner watches.No, don't suck it up! Don't deal with it! If he still chooses to watch these shows despite how utterly panicked and awful it makes you feel, then isolate yourself from him when he's watching those shows. Put some loud music in your ear, go to another room. Do anything else but sit there watching him watch that stuff. You'll literally feel like screaming. It's best to just completely isolate during those times. There ARE guys who will watch what they watch. And no, they're not desperate idiots.
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A
male
reader, Silius Sodimus  +, writes (24 January 2013):
Jealousy bordering on paranoia, no offence, just calling it as I sees it. Do you ever go to the beach with him? Do you get jealous of all the half naked women around? I think you have self esteem issues. You have to understand even highly sexed guys don't watch movies JUST so they can see a bit of nudity. Your bf is not watching Spartacus for the nudity if he wanted nudity he'd be watching Crotch Capers 3. Let's turn the tables imagine your watching Magic Mike and he got angry and asked why your watching it and saying things like "is my body not good enough" and starts flying off the rails. Would you say "yeh he's got a point" and stop watching or would you be thinking "wtf was that about?"
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female
reader, LilacWine +, writes (21 January 2013):
I agree that it's an overreaction. Sometimes you have to "suck it up" and learn to deal with things like this. Life doesn't fall into your lap in a perfect orb for you to deal with as you will. It gives you challenges to overcome. Take some deep breaths and calm yourself, reminding yourself that it's not even real people he's watching, just pixels on a screen.
It's only normal for humans of both genders to check out other people... but as the old saying goes, 'It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home'. The other one I like is 'Just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu.' Let him have his fun watching the telly, and you can still look at other men and appreciate them.. you don't have to act, just appreciate! :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2013): Everyone is going to say that you're overreacting, and that it's just jealousy.. but you already know that it goes a lot further than that.
These issues have nothing to do with your boyfriend, but come from within yourself. Have you previously been in an abusive relationship? Were you bullied at school? Were family members critical of you when you were growing up?
Every woman has insecurity issues, but your insecurities are NOT normal, and I know this because I am the same. I can't handle my partner complimenting a celebrity, let alone seeing another woman naked.
But it is not normal to feel that way, and a professional can help you work through this. It's not right to punish your boyfriend any longer, or yourself.
Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 January 2013):
 What you described in your submittal is not atypical.. but it IS rather extreme... and seems to "come from" your believing that you can - or should - control all that a/your partner does and sees. Is that really realistic? Would YOU want to be on the receiving end of your behaviour?
You are wise to recognize your "jealousy issue".... because, if you don't modify it you will scuttle just about every relationship that you will try to undertake with any man..... It may be that the only way you will be able to effect a change in yourself is with professional help. Think about that....
Good luck....
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2013): "I have my own insecurity issues."
Fix those issues OP before you smother him and lose him.
OP honestly, can you not see how crying your eyes out because he saw a naked female in a TV show isn't way overboard?
Nudity is everywhere OP, is he not allowed to see women in bikinis either or is that okay? What about Jessica Alba in Sin City, that too much for you too?
Nudity, sex, beautiful women are everywhere OP, he's going to see that. Your choice is whether you'd rather get to a place where it doesn't bother you because you're happy with yourself, or whether you want to turn him into a monk, crying all the time feeling hurt because he saw some nudity?
Fix your issues OP or I guarantee you that will be why you lose him, not because there is a more beautiful woman than you but because there'll be a less insecure one.
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A
female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (21 January 2013):
 I think you're being too jealous.
Everyone is subjected to nudity and sex throughout life, probably at a younger age than we really should be, and we become desensitized to a lot of it. When you watch a movie with your family and there happens to be a sex scene how do you react? Do you feel like you're betraying your boyfriend because you are seeing another man naked? When you see a half naked man in a magazine do you feel like it is less than innocent or you are doing anything wrong? Try to see it from his perspective, it is just a program and not worth getting upset about!
He is trying to make you feel better about this issue but you just need to calm down and accept that there are worse things he could be watching. If he was watching it for the explicit content then he would be watching porn, and he wouldn't be allowing you to know the he is watching it. In my experience if he isn't hiding it, he isn't doing anything he considers wrong!
Try to relax :) Best of luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2013): Girl, I know where you're coming from. I was like this once. You are not crazy. You're just jealous.
Your man cannot help seeing naked women on tv, just as you and I can't help seeing naked (or half naked) men on tv. He doesn't write the show. He has no control over it.
Please don't try to control what he watches on tv. I know it's hard when you're jealous, but it will only push him away. Your boyfriend doesn't watch porn. That in itself is a rarity in this day and time. He obviously loves and respects you very much.
Don't let a silly tv show ruin what seems like a great relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): Does he get upset at you seeing the "super hot" actors in hollywood in a movie? Jealousy is ok if it is kept to a healthy and VERY LOW LEVEL.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 January 2013):
Insane/crazy...? Not from this alone.
Overly jealous? Absolutely. Being too much like this can push someone away. Let him see some boobs from time to time on tv, he's not exactly going to leave you to go be with an actress.
However if you watch Spartucus from the beginning with him see how he reacts to you seeing some muscular naked men.
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