A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Everyone! Thank-you for taking your time to read this. I am a closeted male who feels that he has issues when it comes to liking someone. I notice that when I like someone I fall extremely quickly. Right now I have a crush on someone who I have known for a while. He is a great person and an attractive person and is someone I would date and could see myself with down the road. At this moment, I do not want a relationship but I am having difficulty dealing with this crush. I notice I think about him a lot to the point where I feel that it is a bit much. I feel being that no one knows about me liking guys, I have no one to vent to about it and when I do like someone it is almost an obsession because the issue is kept on the hush.In addition to me having trouble not thinking about him, I think that he may have a crush on my ex which is a major problem! I am not sure about him liking my ex. However, regardless of if he likes my ex or not, I need to get in a mindset in which I am able to see him as a friend only. The reason for doing this is so I can prepare myself in case he does not like me back, is interested in my ex or someone else, and for my mental health. Also, I feel that in general, I want to be able to not get hung up on one person so quickly because I am so young and I'd like to get to know people and not allow one person to block possible opportunities with other people. I understand a crush is a crush and you cannot make those feelings disappear. However, if you all could give me advice on how to handle the crush in a healthier way that would be great. Thank-you in advance!-ClosetGuy
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys! xoxo
A
male
reader, Eva9 +, writes (2 January 2011):
You sound like me. I know exactly how u feel. I am out and have been out for a few years but I am young and a 13 year old with a gay crush can be really cnfusing and hard. Idk how old u r but I agree with the lAst guy tha you should come Ot to at least 1 person, and mayb even hint At the guy you like that ur gay. If y'all are in fact friends, you should get more friendly with him and Ask who he likes. If he's nervous he may be into u because guys can usually tell other guy friends who they like. But really I think that when I came out, alot of shit happened that I wish didn't, but I think now I know my true friends, now I just wish I didn't fall for them so fast or at all, cuz u know their my straight friends. I know I didn't reAlly answer the q but I think putting my story out there helps me And u. Good luck
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A
male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (2 January 2011):
Well I would find someone, a friend that you can tell that you are gay. You don't have to come out of the closet, but telling someone will do you wonders. Find someone that you trust and know can keep a secret, but won't judge you for being gay. Find someone that you feel that you can confide in. It will help you immensely if you have someone that you can talk to about these things. Before I started to come out of the closet there are a friend that I loved deeply and the fact that I loved him so much, but was so afraid of telling him was just ripping me apart. I eventually told him ,and long story short, he has avoided me ever since. But because of that I started to tell other friends that I am gay, and it was such a relief knowing that I no longer had to suffer in silence. You will get negative reactions from some, but all you can really do about that is blow them off because they are not worth your time. I know that telling someone for the first time that you are gay is frightening for you. It is for almost everyone that I gay. I the first time I told someone I sat there stammering for ten minutes trying to tell them. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to get you to come out of the closet. But having just that one person to talk to has helped me more than anything that I have ever tried. However, if you feel that you are just to frightened right now to do that, then don't listen to this advice. Everyone that is gay has to tell people about them being gay when the time is right for them.
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