A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This may be daft a question but well I've had like 4 sexual partners from about 16-21 I'm now 25.. So that's 4 sexual partners in 9 years one relationship lasted 4 years and I got hurt in the end (a lot was my fault). I've been single for these 3 and a half years and feel have I wasted a lot of my youth . I'm not a very social person nor am I a drinker and so meet many women. Or if I do I'm quite picky lol. But I like a relationship rather than 1 night stands. Is this right for a bloke, thinking this, at my age? I feel a lot of people my age either have many sexual partners or feel a lot of people cheat.. thank you if anyone can help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 May 2013):
 There is no right and wrong, so what is right for one person is wrong for another. You said yourself, you prefer relationships, therefore sleeping around with multiple girls would not make you happy. So why would you bother doing something that would make you unhappy just to conform with this 'norm' you have made up in your head?
You are massively generalising here, ok some guys your age have slept with a silly amount of women. But you are ignoring the fact that this isnt the 'norm' for everyone, some guys your age are still virgins! Some are like you, they prefer relationships. Some may have slept with around 10 people but its still not 'loads' of sexual partners. Everyone is different, there is no 'norm' for people your age so stop generalising and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing.
I would never say that you could waste your youth by not having sex - wasting your youth would be having no ambitions, no desire, not completing your education, not seeing the world, not having fun.....those are serious things to worry about, sex on the other hand is not something that you would deem as 'life changing'!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 I think you overestimate how many sexual partners others have. As for how many cheats ect. no one knows. All that is personal. And cheating isn't something you should want to do, or feel like you're missing out on. Cheating is cowardly and disgusting behaviour, not something to admire. Maybe I misunderstood your question, but being a cheater isn't something you should want to be. Having tons of sexual partners isn't a goal in itself either. Some people have lots of sex with different people because that's what they want. It's not what you want, and that doesn't mean you're any worse off. People are just different, that's all, the one isn't better than the other.
I don't think you need to feel like you're missing out. This entire idea about "missing out" is something that's recently become a popular catch phrase, it has no meaning. To be "missing out" implies that there are certain things EVERYONE ought to be doing, and certain amounts of it too. But when everyone aren't the same, why should we think everyone needs to do the same thing? You're not a sheep in a herd, you are an individual. There is no need or purpose in trying to do what you THINK everyone else is doing, when you in fact don't even want to. When you are old and gray you wont look back thinking you missed out. You'd look back and think what a nice life you had, and that is was good to do the things you wanted to do. So what, you've been single for 3 years. Others have been single for longer. Better to be single than to be in a relationship with someone you don't care for, simply because you didn't want to be alone.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 WOW!I think you should be more concerned with your overall future, Career,Finances,Education etc. In my experience you will never have enough and all things will be a disappointment. But if you have an education and some money saved up all the other disappointments are easier to deal with.My point.. sleeping with a hundred women would be a waste and wouldn't make you feel any better.You would be wise to find one smart woman that has similar goals and ideals as you.and dont worry about what other guys are doing there also paying a fortune in child support, raising children they dont want or dealing with some nasty STD's.Over here you pay child support till the kids 21..by then the hot girl you had a fling with trying to keep up with the other guys,,well by then youve bought her a few Bentley's and shes not so hot anymore
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