A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, social media issue unfortunately..I have been dating my partner for two and a half years. I have been widow for over three years, he had a relationship before me that lasted around three years. Through our relationship our exes would be brought up from either my partner or me. I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter from my previous marriage.My bf stated when he moved in with my daughter and me that he doesn't like my deceased husbands pictures around our home so I removed them, They are all saved in albums and I also didn't remove his pictures from my facebook but I have put them as private pictures, so nobody can see them. My bf has all of his ex's pictures on facebook and when I approached him about it and explained how i feel with him keeping all his ex pictures on his facebook ( some pictures its just her, some pics are both of them hugging..intimate.) Anyways when I asked him to put his pictures private in his facebook settings his answer was: Why are you so insecure? You didn't accept me for who I am, you have issues, you are trying to manipulate me...and so on...pointing fingers...i have removed him multiple times from my facebook and i have done the same today after he stated that i do not want to accept his past or him. We have been friends on facebook for couple days and today i go through his uploads and there are multiple pictures of his ex still...even though I explained myself multiple times... I found this insulting and very disrespectful. I feel that me asking to put his pictures private its like saying I want you to burn your past and everyone with it. I explained to him that I do understand that he has a past like everyone does, but when he said to me he doesn't like my deceased husband pictures around our home I didn't see a problem with putting the pictures in albums, so they are not in his face. when i asked the same from him, he got upset and pointed his finger at me and also sent me a link of this site. He sent the following quote to me: "My observation in this is that you are very concerned about principle and she is concerned about appearance and image. I don't think this relationship can be saved." His ex girlfriend is alive and I don't think they are contacting each other. My question here is, is it really me? What do I do? I love him but it seems like everything is a battle with him..He says he loves me and my daughter but his actions are mixed and sometimes I really don't know how to even talk to him without being judged or accused of something.
View related questions:
ex girlfriend, facebook, his ex, insecure, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (7 July 2015):
 Head games city girl !
Seriously,it seems a bit creepy to me. It must make you feel bad. If there is anything else that makes you feel the way this does then dump him immediately if not sooner.
He's a hypocrite .
You have to have a face to face talk about this, be calm and direct.
How does he make you feel? That's all important x
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (7 July 2015):
Wrong, this isn’t a social media issue, this is insecurity and controlling, manipulative behaviour from your boyfriend. He was your husband. You had a child with him. IT’s your past, and it’s your daughter’s past. Anyone who gets insecure over some-one who isn’t even alive anymore has got some real issues. He says you are not accepting his past, but he won’t accept yours. This isn’t about him wanting you to keep those photos more private, which might be understandable. Instead, it’s more sinister. He can’t accept your past, he doesn’t want to and he thinks it should be his way. Then when you ask the same thing of him he makes you feel like the insecure, jealous one. You say you love him but all the signs are that he is controlling and bordering on the emotionally abusive. If this is how he behaves over social networking and a few pictures on a wall, what’s he going to be like over real, big issues? My advice to you is to end this relationship as you deserve better. This isn’t good for your child either.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
|
