A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:My ex has a lot of serious issues, alcoholism, severe depression, her dad died a few months ago, and she used to be a cutter. After our breakup she confessed to me and only me that it made her want to cut herself again. she also ONLY told me she would be seeking professional for her problems, but that fell through for whatever reason...Well, now she's apparently all smiles, like none of that stuff ever happened, but in my opinion she's not acting very rational. For example, we were having sex all throughout August after we broke up in july, then we stopped and she started talking to another guy around september 13th whom I'm sure she slept with...NOW she's in a relationship with a guy she just met at a bar around the 27th who lives half way around the world in AUSTRALIA! BTW as far as her best friend knows they only hung out the one time at the bar...even she thinks she is finding it hard to follow the "craziness". Am I missing something here? Does that not seem like erratic behavior? All those negative feelings don't just go away overnight. They have to go somewhere right? We're not together anymore, but I still care about her. Let me know what you guys think about the situation.
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male
reader, Cccc  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 Oh yea.
Dude be happy she left.She will be back but I think you should probably just keep the door closed cause people like that never change and they do they slip and fall so easily and the cycle restarts!
A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (11 October 2010):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question I don't smoke weed and I would routinely try to take alcohol away from her on a regular basis or question why she needs so much. She said were not compatible, guess what she meant was that she wants someone who will enable her reckless behavior.
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A
male
reader, Cccc +, writes (11 October 2010):
Personally I think shes looking for ways to get freed of the depression with all the Wees booze etc.
Its really sad since people rarely never do the emotional damage to themselves but they have to deal with it and if youre not a strong person you will probably end up doing what she is doing.The thing is when she was with you you tried to help her by NOT letting her escape reality by indulging in these things...Now she thinks shes free but shes just getting further away from it!
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A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (11 October 2010):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, I'm starting to suspect she has something called "Complicated Grief" as she has many unresolved issues with her deceased father, he cheated on their mom and many of her siblings feel he was never there for them and they made her feel guilty for not feeling the same way, etc
"A few ways Complicated Grief manifest itself is that the individual has difficulty speaking of the deceased without experiencing, renewed and intense grief." Her dad had died a few months ago, but every time she talk about him she'd burst into tears like it just happened yesterday.
"They have ongoing sleep problems sleeping too much or too little that persist for more than 6 weeks." I know for a fact she had troubles being motivated to get out of bed and just slept all the time.
"They make sudden and radical changes in their lifestyle and They exhibit self-destructive behavior, for instance excessive drinking, substance abuse, or promiscuity." Clearly what she's doing now as she has been heavily indulging in smoking weed, drinking, and apparently sleeping around with different men.
Absolutely no way for a single mother to behave. she should be watching her daughter, not bar hopping and meeting strange men.
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A
male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (11 October 2010):
Indeed they do not go away. They morph and turn into...crazy. She's pretty much loco and her denial will consume her to be like this for a very long time, begging for attention where she find clarity in her mess of a life. She has problems but don't make them your own. Sounds like she could use a get away or some solitude but that will come to her when she is ready.
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