A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I been with this guy for a year now, and we also just had our first kid on april 2nd. So it wasn't that much longer after we got together that i got pregnant. okay. He wasn't ready for kids, i wasn't on the pill and it feels alot better without a condom. When he was 16 he had prostate cancer and the dr.told him he would never have kids. He only has one nut. Anyway, my question is this. I know it's too soon to ask, but i love this man deeply and i know he loves me too. We are open and honest with each other. When i talk about marriage tho, he scares away from it, and says he's not ready. Should i be worried? is it because he doesn't see me as a wife? if so, what can i do to get him to that point? What is it about a woman a guy wants to marry her? Besides the cooking because i can't cook for shit unless it's in a box, lol. i don't have to be married to him because i already feel we're already there, just no papers and rings. But i just thought i'd ask.
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (29 June 2009):
 A married uncle of mine once told me, "you don't know if you truly want to marry someone until you've seen each season together twice over." I think that's excellent advice. A year is not really a long time and a lot of couples go through a really bumpy patch between 18-24 months when the hormones wear off. If you can make it through another year, then I would put marriage back on the table. He says he's not ready. Please listen to him and don't force it.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 A lot has happened in the months you've been together. He's a dad now and that in itself brings on new pressures and reponsibilities. I would take things slowly at the moment. Get used to being parents. If you haven't already you could talk about moving intogether. One step at a time right? Marriage is a big commitment (not to mention expensive). Enjoy being parents first and foremost, reassure him of your feelings for him, if you both continue to grow in your love for one another then I'm sure when the time is right he will want to tie the knot. In the meantime just be patient and enjoy bringing up your child together.~Eve~
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): dnt forget dat woman mature much faster than man,its evident dat ur man is comfortable wth u.marriage is jst a another huge step 4 for him.dnt nag him to marry u,he wil marry u once he feels ready.dnt push him too hard hel run away.man jst dnt lik it being told what to do.i get the feeling dat u wud nt lik to loose him since the two of u hav a baby together.al u want is some security n assurance.for now enjoy the relationship n have fun.
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