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Am I stupid for wanting to be with him again or am I wasting my time?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 December 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 December 2009)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

my ex bf and I broke up a few weeks ago. He didn't tell me why but I think it was because of my medical condition as i got really sick when I was there at his place.

ever since then I can't stop thinking about him, every time i see his pic i get butterflies in my tummy.

I don't know whethe the feeligs are real or not. But all i do know is that I want him back as my bf. he is not sayin that he wants to be with me but he doesn't say he doesn't. He never really speaks bout his feelings.

I have tried ringing him, txting him and emailing him

Am I stupid for wanting to be with him again or am i wasting my time?

apart from actually saying the words, how do i make it clear that i love him with all my heart?

[Moderator's note: Which medical condition do you have?]

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (27 December 2009):

You're not stupid, you're just in love. However, consider this. Why would you want to be with a guy who deserted you when you were ill? What happens in the future? I would say you can do better.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009):

Dear Ms Break Up,

Your feelings are real and so are his. In a relationship both partners need to consider the feelings, the thoughts, and the actions of the other as well as themself. What this means to you is that although you may want to have him back you must consider what he wants and what is best for him. If he does not want to be with you then don't try to force him. To the extent that you really care for him, you must let him be free.

This does not mean that you can't express your feelings to him. You can. You can tell him that you want to be with him. However, you must tell him first and foremost that he is free to stay with you or go, or just be friends. You must tell him that you will respect his wishes just as him must respect yours. Don't hold him as a hostage by using emotional blackmail. Don't cry and tell him that you "need" him. Try to be a friend to him. Instead of focusing on what you want try to focus on what he wants and help him in that direction. Otherwise you will be using selfish manipulation to capture a boyfriend.

good luck

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