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Am I stupid for staying with her?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, *player212007 writes:

Anyone please help me I think she's cheating still and lying.

First I'm 24 years old and my girlfriend (and hope to be wife) is 19. We have been dating for 6 months. I know seems kind of short but I know without any doubt that I love her with all my heart and would give her the world if I could. I don't believe in lying or cheating. I was in a past relationship where 1 month before the wedding found my ex cheating on me with her baby's daddy. I've never done this and never would. But anyways, the problem I'm having now is this. Me and her have been doing great I was able to trust her all most instantly. She just seemed different to me. I have caught her lying to me about smoking at least 8 different times now. She keeps telling me that she's quite but I always find out differently. Why lie about something that small for? And then now I find out from her friends, my friends, and another guy that came to my job that this past week or two she's been all over him and she kissed him and it was more than once! She keeps telling me that I'm the only one she wants.

The worse part is that she may be pregnant. To me kissing someone is cheating but that's just me. I found this all out yesterday. But I've had my suspicions about it. Then when I asked her about it she tried to lie to me after I had all ready heard it from 6 different people. I've also got forwarded text messages that was sent back and forth between the two of them. I finally got her to confese to it and was pissed so i told her it was over and hung up the phone. But then i called her back and we talked things out I think. I just don't know what to do now.

I told her she has lost all of my trust and it's going to take a long time for her to get it back. Am I stupid for staying with her? and is it true once a cheater or liar always a cheater or liar?

She know's how I feel about her talking to other guys and yet she still does it. Like I've told her I don't talk or even look at someone else. I know what I have and am/was happy where I was. So what should I do now? I'm not in this relationship for games, I've never played games in my past and don't plan to start. Please, any advice would help. thanks.

View related questions: be pregnant, kissing, liar, my ex, text, wedding

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009):

Please leave her, you'll recover pretty quickly. Next time, don't think about marriage so soon.

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A female reader, jaime90 Australia +, writes (15 April 2009):

jaime90 agony auntShe's too young for you.. you need someone mature who shares the same values and wants the same things as you. Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009):

If she has no respect for you, and is going behind your back it is big warning that the relationship is not going so well. For you own happiness and security, reconsider getting married to her as she has not given you a reason to trust her. It there is no trust between you two, there really is no relationship that can last. Should you stay with her and continue being unhappy? I think you deserve better and there are better women out there than her.

You love her, but it is clear she does not feel the same way about you. These are big warning signs that you should not ignore, as they may get worse. It looks like she is playing a game with you, and it is hurting you.

If she truly felt the same way about you, she would not go out there disrespecting you by kissing that guy when she fully knows she is in a relationship with you. You would give the world for that person who deserves you, but she is not the one. It is time you move on and leave her as she is. Don't look back and a better person will be out there for you.

I caught my ex lying several times, and it didn't get better. When I found a picture of his girlfriend, he said it was his best friend, and I did not like being the other woman as I found out. If a person cannot tell the truth about something small, what else are they hiding?

You need to let her go, and don't look back. You deserve better then this, and your time should not be wasted on her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009):

say goodbye. She'll do it again. I got married when I was 21, engaged when I was 20. I love my husband but guess what? i'm cheating. She's too young. move on. It'll hurt but trust me. If I knew what I know now. I would have never said "yes" to that beautiful diamond. I would have waited longer.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009):

Here's a little math:

Marriage + Lying Partner = Life Of Misery

Do the math.

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