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age
30-35,
*
writes: Hi, I'm really confused I fell in love with one guy and we were best friends for so long but we decided, well i decided, that it would be best that we didn't see eachother so we didn't ruin our friendship. Now i'm with another guy, i really do like him but i keep on thinking what it would be like to be with my best friend. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months now and its good apart from when he gets too drunk on friday nights out with the "Lads" i hate it and he knows i do but he still goes out with the main aim to get, as he calls it " off his face ". I don't know whether i love him or whether i'm in this relationship because i can't bare the thought of being alone. I really need some help! Thankyou, Someone who needs some advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (11 April 2008):
 Im where you are right now. Not sure if you love him or not, maybe he is just a good friend. But when he says he loves you you just get confused and not sure about your feelings. Also you may feel bad at the prospect of hurting him. I totally understand. Being alone is a scary thought too, but you wont be completely alone, always remember that. You have friends and family, you will never be alone and you do not need a boyfriend to make yourself happy. If you do not love him and he is saying he loves you, you have to let him go. It is pretty unfair to him. Like how would you feel to love someone and how they really feel is- I just don't want to be alone. Also if you have to question whether you love him or not, you do not. Simple as that. Let him go. You need to deal with being "alone." You don't want to be one of those girls who needs a guy and who will stay in an unhappy relationship just to not be alone. Remember, "you have to love yourself and love being alone", or you will find yourself putting up with a lot of crap from a guy one day just from fear of being on your own. Good luck.
A
female
reader, crownedprincess  +, writes (11 April 2008):
No matter if you break up now or later on its going to
hurt!!
I know it will be hard and you say you think your not
strong enough neither am i at somethings but love is the
most strongest feeling in the world, it's what everything
is built up around! If you dont love him or feel love for
him then you know what you need to do! i suggest you go
away for a few days and rest from each other see if that
helps!!
I really hope everything works out for you!_x
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A
female
reader, Bobbyjo +, writes (11 April 2008):
 You really are too young to be even worrying about this sort of thing. Yes I think you may only be with him becos u are scared to be alone and if that is the case then u really should break it off sooner rather than later. Trust me, u dont want to waste the good years of your life like this and then suddenly realise when your in your late 20's that u havnt done hardy anything that u shoud of. If I were u, I would forget both of these guys. I would go with friends, party, do exciting things and u will meet so many more guys that these 2 will be forgotten about in no time. I know I sound like a nagging old aunty, and Im only 24, but I really do believe in 'live while youre still young'. U will probably regret it if u dont x
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A
female
reader, crownedprincess +, writes (11 April 2008):
Hiya!!
You have to decide what you class alone as!! When your
single ur not "alone" at all and the world doesn't revolve
around having a boyfriend!!
I totally agree with you about your best friend and I can
tell you now if you do have a relationship with your best
mate, it will completely wreck your friendship if you do
break up! I know it as I've been there as i thought it
wouldn't happen and now i don't even talk to the guy!!
It's really hard as your at an age where your hormones are
at an all time high!!!
I have always said if you are having second thoughts in a
relationship it is far easy to get it out in the open to
your partner then carry on being unhappy!!! As (A) it
doesn't make you any happier (B) It will cause more trouble
when he finds out that you have been feeling this
way for a long time!!!
I really suggest that you talk to him and if you feel that
you cant then talk to a few gf's see if they can help!!!
There is no point in being in a relationship your not happy
in!!
Good Luck. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou, I don't know if i'm strong enough though because he says he loves me and i'm just so confused about how i feel, and i don't want to hurt him
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): What is so bad about being on your own. I have been on my own with my son for years now. He is 16 and I'm not ready to meet someone yet, cos i am having a whale of a time being young free and single. I am not saying have a kid either. Be comfortable with yourself. Stop holding onto people who are totally unsuitable as comfort blankets. Only go out with someone that you really want to go out with, and when you want to go out with them. Please break this habit or you will be a pathetic adult.
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