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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello everyone, I am thinking about having sex with my partner for the first time. I am a virgin and he is not- I am in my mid twenties and he is nearly forty years old. I am already on birth control and condoms and lube are at the bedside tabe all ready for the day, whenever it might happen. Everything is set we are just waiting for a natural time to do it. However, he has asked me why I have condoms seeing as I am on The Pill. The reason for this is that although I know he is clean (I had himself get checked out) I don't want to have sex without a condom as I know he has had sex with his ex without a condom on. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I feel that having sex without a condom is slightly more special as there is this connection without a latex barrier. He has already experienced it with another woman and I don't want to be the second one he does it with. He thinks I am being a bit to sensitive about this subject and he said he hopes that one day I will be able to have sex without a condom but I don't think I can. Can someone please help me? I want to know if I am being silly or not?
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condom, his ex, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ffogalilly  +, writes (15 April 2010):
You're being safe and smart, I would rethink your decision to have sex with this man.
A
female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (15 April 2010):
your not being over sensitive at all, i am exactly the same.I have been in my relationship for two years with my partner and we have both been checked but i am still on the pill and we still use a condom as well. we do this simply because we dont want children yet and the pill isn't 100% also there will always be a chance that a new partner might have some STD's. he said he went to the dr but did you go with him for the results? I have been caught by this in my past and ended with an STD even though I thought I was being over sensitive.there is no reason for you not to use a condom and if he says it feels better well only marginally and it means he will ejeculate a lot quicker.if he loves you he will respect the fact that you would like to use a condom. Also this is your first time so it must be on your grounds because if your not relaxed then it will hurt more.its also a lot messier for the girl if you dont use a condom.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 April 2010):
No, you're not silly. The pill is 98% effective, which means that very occasionally, it's not (only VERY occasional). So it's always better to be safe than sorry. If you don't want to do it without a condom, then don't. And if he doesn't respect that, then he needs to move on.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 No you are not being silly you are being safe and smart. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise
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