A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There's this girl that I used to date, she was so beautiful and now she's had a nose job. Nothing drastic, she just got rid of the bump on her nose to have it straightened and had the tip raised a bit. It looks really good, if I didn't know her before I wouldn't have noticed she had any plastic surgery it looks real.Point is, is it shallow of me to not to think she's as beautiful as she looks anymore... What I mean is, she was one the most beautiful girls I had met and that was before she had her nose done, now she's had it done. She looks even more beautiful, that she's just this incredibly beautiful girl that it's unreal she's that good looking!But that's the thing, when I see her I think, yeah she's very beautiful but she's had a nose job so that beauty isn't real. It's plastic and a fake image she's displaying to everyone, it's not her true beauty like it was before. My friends said I'm being silly, that she was hot before and now she's even hotter so they don't see the problem.But does anybody understand what I am trying to say? And does anybody agree with this, or am I being shallow? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2013): Would you love her less if her nose got broken and changed shape?Bet you say no!Yet that is NOT her natural beauty either!Main observation here, yes you could be called shallow...want to know why?because you are only interested in her OUTER APPEARANCE, what about her natural inner beauty?Some people are so quick to slam the outer image of a person as fake, yet the inner person, mind, brain, soul, character of that person goes unoticed or unknown and people have the cheek to call them fakes and shallow. yet the ones who look on, are actually the shallow ones, who fail to uncover the image and look for real beauty.Real Natural beauty will always come from within regardless of big noses,small noses, big boobs,small boobs,TRUE beauty is about what you CANNOT SEE.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): I understand, I myself think certain 'imperfect' features are really attractive and add a lot of character and interest to people's faces (maybe I'm a bit influenced by my art history background).
I don't think it's shallow to have your own personal preferences, and you seem to understand that nothing on the inside or her personality has changed. However, at the end of the day, people should just be allowed to do what they like and what makes them happy, as long as its not hurting anyone, after all, she had the surgery to please herself, not because she wanted to make herself more attractive to you. Try to put it out of your mind as much as you can!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): I'm not sure I understand your question. First you say you think she looks more beautiful now, then you say you don't because it makes her fake. Which way is it?
I'm also curious as to why you think it looks better? Why is someone with a perfectly straight nose more attractive than someone with a bump on their nose? Shouldn't little things like a bump on the nose help to make someone more unique than someone who fits the "ideal" standard of beauty? I don't mean to offend, I'm just curious.
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A
female
reader, theres_always_a_loophole  +, writes (10 July 2013):
 You admitted you thought she looked better after the nose job, and that you wouldn't have known if you'd met her after the fact. The only reason you dislike it is because you know it's not her real look. Think about this: How many other beautiful women have you seen who are completely natural? You don't know them, so you don't know what they may have done to look better. A lot of women (probably even some of the ones you know) change their hair color, wear hair extensions, go tanning so their skin tone is completely even, and wear makeup. While that's not plastic surgery, it could still be called "fake" because they are still altering themselves to look more appealing.
So where do you draw the line?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 July 2013):
 What interests me here is why you care at all? You used to date her, right? Apparently, before her nose job, you didn't find her enough to continue dating her, so what's the difference at any rate?
You're entitled to your opinion of how she looks, and her cosmetic change represents a shift away from the familiar appearance you dated to a new appearance. Some women change their hair. Some, their wardrobe, and some their perceived body imperfections through cosmetic surgery.
You said "She looks even more beautiful" and also "I don't think she's as beautiful as she looks". Thinking that she's fake now is playing to the stigma of plastic surgery. She's the same person she was before the procedure. There was something she didn't like about her nose, so she did something about it. That's a healthy thing to do in my opinion.
The question now is, why do you care? Are you thinking she's now out of your league, and that you have to tear her down in your mind because her enhanced beauty bothers you? Do you still have feelings for her? I feel a little bit of "sour grapes" coming from your post, and that's what I'm curious about?
If you post back here, mind telling us why you didn't keep dating her?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2013): "If she had gone from an A cup to DD would you still think it was fake?"
Yes, that would be extremely fake and a huge turn-off for me (in terms of pursuing a serious relationship).
I sort of agree with the OP. However, it's ok for her to have a nose job just as it is ok for you to value natural beauty more highly.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 July 2013):
 I think in a way, that yes you are shallow. It's not your body nor your business. WHAT IF her new nose makes HER happy?
Just because a girl is "hot" doesn't mean she doesn't have thing about herself she doesn't like and want to "fix". It doesn't make her fake.
If she had gone from an A cup to DD would you still think it was fake?
Live and let live.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2013): You're not shallow. You just value natural beauty over enhanced beauty. You are entitled to your opinion. That is not to say there is anything wrong with the girl for getting plastic surgery. She is entitled to do what ever she wants with her own body.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (10 July 2013):
 I think it's a little odd. I mean, yes there are different levels, but things like makeup and hair dye and everything are all fake too. Do those bug you? It sounds like she was insecure about her nose for a long time and now that she's changed it, she's happy with it and everyone is happy with it, so if it makes her feel good about herself why not. It doesn't make you shallow though, it's the opposite of shallow. You are upset with her for being shallow if anything.
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