A
male
age
51-59,
*anaja
writes:Hi Ive been dumped twice by the same person , 3 years ago and again last year, since then 8 months ago ,Ive met someone else and really get on well with her, my ex is coming to live on my street again, Im not really that bothered, but I do want to see her , not because I want her back , but because I need to see her for some sort of closure, not to ask her why she did what she did twice over, Im not interested , I know the answer to that and I cant be bothered asking her , I just want to be alright with her now, thats all , we were friends before we we lovers, then she went back to her ex, I was always the fall guy, Im passed that now, but just want to be ok with her , because Ive felt so bitter at not seeing her When she did it before, I saw her on my street and eventually got used to seeing her about (she moved last year),but this time not seeing her and it ending so abruptly seemed worse, I couldnt vent anything and to be honest , I practically rebounded onto my current girlfriend, but weve actually got really close and have a holiday booked to the Canarys in July. When she dumped me , she never gave me any explanation for anything , she just ignored ,my texts and my calls, I was really angry with her, I dont know whether shes with her ex or not now, I just need to see her so I can put it behind me now. I saw her son today and he said , "im surprised my mum hasnt texted you to tell you shes moving back on the street" , I told him , "I dont want her to text me , theres no point, but Il be right with her if I see her about, I just want to put it behind me now ". then I told him to tell his mum I said hello and Ive no hard feelings. he said he would. She did actually want me back the other year when I started seeing someone else and she was single after her ex had split with her again.. whether shes wised up this time or not I dont know, if im honest , neither of us have any need for one another , although for me being dumped , its always the rejection thing,after all its me writing this here not her...so im still at a weak spot somewhere, seeing her on my street , will settle it for me again I think, I dont want to lose my current girlfriend who is so much better than my ex, im 44 , my ex is 52, my girlfriend is 28 and hot ! Am I right in remaining a distance from her ?
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female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 Yes, if you ask me, it is right that you continue keeping your distance from her. In fact don't even consider also that one day you will bump on each other and become friends again. Maybe after 20 years you can do that but not in the near future. Pretend she doesn't exist anymore.
What she did to you clearly was just for her own self, she used you. I know it hurts but people like her deserve nothing else but this. Make her realize you've changed and that you have a new life now better than before.
If in case you can't escape her as she lives in your town, just say a civil hi, no talking further and no exchanging of numbers. Just a small sign that you are delighted to see her will maybe give her a clue again that you still want her. People sometimes are conceited, believe me.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 I think keeping your distance is the best medicine. Focus on your new relationship and let the past stay there.
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