A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 26 year old woman in a relationship with a 30 year old man, who I've been with for almost a year. We are kinda long distance, we live two hours away from each other so only get to meet once, maybe twice a week. I was happy with this at first but now I'm having doubts. I think I'm a very needy person, I always crave his attention, although I have never been like this in my previous relationships. I love him dearly. When we're together everything is perfect. We have fun, we have lots in common, our sex life is amazing. I really do love him more than anything, however I'm starting to question if he feels the same, whether this is because I'm a needy person I'm not sure, but it sometimes seems that he can't be bothered with me. He has a very demanding job so we don't really get to communicate through the day. I'm fine with this as his job is an important part of his life and he's working hard at becoming a manager of the company. Sometimes though, I get a little upset when I see he's been on Facebook and has been talking to his friends during his lunch break but doesn't send me a quick text to ask how my day is going. After work, he texts me a few times around 7pm and then usually he falls asleep around 10pm. Sometimes I ask him if I can call him but he says he's too tired, which I understand but is it unreasonable of me to ask for 15-20 minutes of his time now and again? On occasions, I have to work weekends so we don't get to meet, then he will call me when I've finished work and we chat for a good hour but during the week, he has very little time for me. I'm often upset with him because it feels like he doesn't love me, though he says he loves me more than anything but just isn't very good at showing it. I'm seriously doubting things at the moment and I'm thinking maybe he doesn't have time for a relationship.Any advice on where to go with this would be much appreciated. Thanks.
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male
reader, Over 50 advice  +, writes (29 May 2015):
 Time to turn up the heat, if this guy is that busy let him work and go do your own thing and stop waiting on him. As you read this don't contact him today, see if he even contacts you. If he starts calling or texting make it a short answer like I'm busy right now. You need to run from this so called relationship, because it is not going to work.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 May 2015):
 I think you are RIGHT in think he doesn't have time for a relationship WITH you.
Because YOU want and need more 1-2 meet up a week and the occasional text/call.
I don't think THAT makes you "needy". I think you are at a time in your life where you WANT more fro ma relationship than you are getting.
Two hours apart doesn't seem like too much but considering it makes a 4 hour round-trip it CAN be. Definitely too far to make the visits more then weekly at best.
Is it possible to relocate? Could either of you get a job nearer each other? Would it be realistic? If not... what is the point of this LDR? The whole ENDGAME for an LDR is to NO longer BE Long Distance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2015): Keep your life busy too and don't expect too much from him through the week as he seems to busy with work. He maybe feels comfortable enough in the relationship not to have to be in touch with you all the time. Don't let yourself become needy this can be a big put off for a guy and try and go with the flow a little. Go out and meet up with friends or family and try not to focus all your attention on this guy.
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