A
female
age
36-40,
*1sha
writes:Hi all,I am just asking how I can control my neediness. I am in love with my boyfriend of 1 year. He is 31 and I am 26. We have been discussing marriage from early in our relationship but there are lots of cultural and religious issues that we need to tackle first. The most important of these is for him to inform his parents and for me to meet them. He recently went on a family holiday where he suggested he might tell them. Sadly the holiday was too busy and he didn’t tell them. On his return I was rather cold towards him for a few days because I felt disappointed but did not fully explain my reasons for being cold at the time. A few days after his return we were discussing a friend’s marriage when he jokingly said ‘Oh you’re a good girl. Even my friend X said I should marry you!’. To this I snapped at him that I didn’t care what his friends thought because they didn’t matter, only his mum. He was upset that I had snapped and been so rude to him. I then proceeded to cry and explain that I didn’t want to be reassured by his friends liking me because I know that only his mum’s opinion of me really matters to him. He explained that he was happy with me despite thinking I was slightly mental for my outbursts. He explained that he is serious about marriage and that although he could find someone else, he does not want to. I explained that I had been upset on his return from holiday because I thought he might have told his family and he might have come back to break up with me. I feel embarrassed by my behaviour towards him throughout this episode now. I’m not sure if I’m pushing too hard for marriage. I’m not sure where to go with this now. Any recommendations?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dr.Ski +, writes (2 August 2010):
Maybe you are pushing a little, and you can tell what pressure it is making on your relationship. For example, your outburt's at him.. that also tells me that you are quite eager. in which case, i would advise you too keep pushing. But im not going to advise that too you. i advise you keep sweet with your boyfriend, and make yourself sweet with his parents. That way, you are almost certain too get your marriage in NO TIME! Good luck! x
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