A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I'm just looking for some advice on whether I'm overreacting about this or not. I was taken into hospital yesterday with suspected appendicitis. I text my boyfriend of 4 years on the way there to let him know what was happening. When I got there I was told it was actually a burst ovarian cyst. I was prescribed painkillers, told to go home and rest and come back if it got worse/if I got a fever etc. I text my boyfriend again when I got home to tell him the outcome (he works during the day so I couldn't call), and went to sleep. He called me later to see how I was, but said he wasn't going to visit me because my family were there and he didn't want to get in the way. I'm really upset by that and he doesn't understand why. I'm glad my family were there but I needed his support too. Am I overreacting? I don't know, maybe it's because I'm in a lot of pain and I'm taking it out on him? Its just I would rush to see him if he took ill and I feel he should do the same.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 August 2013):
 Since you were home and in pain, then YES - like I said he should have showed up with some cheer me up flowers and a few hugs, even IF he didn't want to be in the way.. It didn't have to be a long stay..
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 August 2013):
He should have come round. I would have. When my girlfriend was having something done with her eyes, I used up some of my holiday to take care of her.
That said, I think the question you need to ask is what he thinks of your family? Is there some friction there? Would he have just been a third wheel? Have a think, because there's more to this than just him not wanting to get in the way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2013): I wasn't in hospital when I wanted him to visit, I was in my flat alone when I asked him to come round. He said no because my family would be coming to visit later. If my boyfriend had surgery I would go to visit him as soon as I could even without him asking, I wouldn't refuse and say other people will be round later so you can wait for them. The more I think about it the more I think I am right to be upset. Thanks for the replies everyone.
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A
female
reader, malvern +, writes (8 August 2013):
 Yes I think you are over reacting. Hospitals have limited visitors and as he knew your family were going he probably thought he would be in the way or even not allowed in. I really wouldn't take it all to heart.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (8 August 2013):
 I would expect my boyfriend of four years to be there for me if I was hospitalized regardless of whether or not my family is there.
I think it's perfectly normal for you to be upset. He should have seen you as soon as he was able. To see you, flowers, see if you need anything or help with anything. I understand that he didn't want to get in the way, but did you tell him he wouldn't be in the way and that you wanted him there?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 August 2013):
How long were you there? You were there some hours and then sent home? Personally, I think he explanation is acceptable, that he didn't want to get in the way of your family. Family first.
And you went home the same night. I DO think he should have showed up at your home as soon as he was able, preferably with some flowers and hugs.
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A
female
reader, newbern +, writes (8 August 2013):
Yes, you are.
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