A
female
age
30-35,
*nasad
writes:Am I overreacting when my boyfriend is overly enthused about a threesome? I mean, I brought it up, but I just wanted to see what he would say. Now its all he can talk about, and he wants it with my best friend who is prettier than me and has bigger boobs. He's so excited and I dont know how I can tell him no.... So I just feel I'm being unresonable
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best friend, boobs, threesome Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Inasad +, writes (1 January 2010):
Inasad is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, I never brought up that it should be my friend, he just kept pushing the point and pushing the point. Thank you all.
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (31 December 2009):
 You should did open up a can of worms, didn't you? Did you suggest your best friend, or was that his idea? The whole situation spells TROUBLE!You NEVER have a threesome with a mutual friend! It will cause pain for everyone involved. I myself have experienced threesomes, when I was younger, and quite honestly, the always turned out bad! I always regretted them. You have an absolute right to change your mind! We all do! I can already hear the jealousy in your words, when you state that your friend is prettier and has bigger boobs. That jealousy and insecurity will only get worse if you act on this!
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A
female
reader, Sleemy  +, writes (31 December 2009):
girl u aint over-reacting at all. his over-enthusiasm shows he aint satisfied wit wot he has- you. worse still, its ur best friend he wants. only god knows wot could be happening behind ur back. u dont need such ungratefulness from him. make him undastand dat u aint comfortable wit d idea anymore. if he rily cares about u, he'll undastand but girl, keep ur eyez peeled to make sure nothing crazy is going on behind ur back. Take it easy girl. Gudluck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): Its not unreasonable to ask a `what if` question. You were only trying to gauge how he would react. Clearly its not something you actually want to do. The best thing is to tell him straight that you were only asking to get his reaction. Tell him you dont like the fact thats hes going on about it now and its not going to happen. And ask him to stop talking about sex with your mate because its saying rather more about him than you care to know!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): Caring Guy is right. You are not overreacting at all as it is obviously something that you do not feel comfortable with.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 December 2009):
No, you're not being unreasonable. But you have opened a can of worms here. Tell him firmly that you will not have a threesome at all.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (31 December 2009):
 I'm going to ask a difficult question first. Why did you bring it up in the first place? You say to see what his reaction would be, but why? Did you want to see if he'd go for the idea of sleeping with someone else? For some couples a threesome works great. But in most situations it seems to cause some serious problems, especially since generally the fantasy is two girls and a guy Meaning the girl often (not always) starts to feel jealous or insecure about the other girl. Basically the point of a threesome is that you give your boyfriend permission to sleep with someone else.
That said, you are not being unreasonable at all. It's your right to NOT want a threesome or anything sexual. I mean obviously it would seem a little strange if you asked it in a way that suggested you wanted a threesome and then suddenly changed your mind, but you're allowed of course. You aren't required to do anything you don't want to. Many guys will be excited at the prospect of their girlfriend encouraging them to sleep with another woman, so of course he's excited. You need to just tell him you're uncomfortable with it. It doesn't really matter what you said before.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): This is the problem with girls throwing topics out "just to see what happens"... what happens when you suggest anything sexually wild to a 21 year old male is that they JUMP all over it... it could have been group sex, swinging, anal, or a 3some. Your man appears to be immature and only thinking of himself. Would he blow his best friend? Screw him in the assWhy in the world would he think that your best friend would be a candidate?Also, you should NOT feel guilty and you need to turn this around. Here's an idea... tell him that one of the MANY rules is that the girl has to be pretty, single, wanting NSA sex (no strings attached), that he will not communicate with her (i.e. you'll set the deal up yourself- which is also important since you need to voice verify that who you're talking to is a chick- not a fat lonely guy).Then, see if you can find someone- odds are HIGH that you will not be able to. Also, use a pay web site and NOT Craig's list...Once you've figured out that the single hot female wanting a 3some is as rare as a unicorn (hence the slang term for a single female in the swinging community), you'll likely have to pursue couples- if he's hot to watch you make it with your GF, one rule is that he has to make it with the male of the other couple- Odds are good he'll drop it.If you're really open to a 3some on YOUR terms, there are a few very good books that you both need to read. It's a TON of work getting a single female into your bed... but can be fun!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): Just be honest with him. Tell him that you brought it up to know what he thought about threesomes, but that you don't feel comfortable about doing it, especially not with your friend. I think it's reasonable to feel this way, just be calm about it and talk to him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): what about her? Do you think she will agree to it?
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A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (31 December 2009):
 It's wrong of him to want a threesome with somebody you know as now you can see it brings emotional problems if it goes wrong. If you're still up for it, find someone who you don't know and shouldn't compare yourself to. Threesome is meant to be equally enjoyable for both of you. If you change your mind, tell him.
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