A
female
age
30-35,
*hev123
writes:I'm nearing my twenties and have been single all my life. Anyone I have liked haven't liked me back, anyone who does like me either want me for one night only or 'just as a friend'. I'm starting to feel very lonely and unwanted. Maybe i'm over reacting? I just need help to feel positive again as I feel there's something wrong with me? :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (12 March 2013):
 Yes you are over-reacting I'm afraid. If you were aged 50 and had been single 'all your life' then yes you would have good reason to be upset, but you are only 19/20 so you really need some perspective!
Think about it this way, you have not been single for that long really, because most of your life so far you have been a child. Generally boys start to come into the picture seriously (not just daft boyfriends where you only hold hands and speak to each other at school) when you are 15/16, so on that basis you have only really been single for 3-4 years, which in the grand scheme of life is NOTHING.
I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you, if guys want you for one night only then at the very least you are attractive to men. So there is a positive to be taken there, even if these guys are sleazeballs and not worth even thinking about.
If you are lacking confidence then there is no harm in giving yourself a bit of a makeover, change your hairstyle, buy some new make-up, buy some new clothes - make sure you feel really good about your appearance.
Make sure your life is full of interesting things as well - have lots of hobbies, volunteer for a charity, spend time with family and friends.....make sure you have lots of interesting things in your life that make you happy. That way when you do meet a guy you like he will really like how interesting you are as a person.
Meeting guys is relatively straight forwards - it happens in all the usual places; bars anc clubs being the easiest, online dating is another easy way to meet people that want relationships. You can also try joining clubs and societies for things you are interested in, where there may also be men. For example, if you like running, join a running club and you will meet plenty of guys who share similar interests to you. Try asking your friends if they know any single guys who might be suitable for you, you can always look at them on Facebook first before you meet up so its not a true blind date!
But most of all, be patient, you are still very young and have plenty of time for guys. You wont be alone forever, that is highly unlikely - so just enjoy life, make the most of being young and free and do some fun things. You have nothing to tie you down and no responsibilities, you can do whatever you want so make the most of it before adult life bogs you down.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (12 March 2013):
 Hi
When I hit 14 I had lads queuing up,this lasted years,I flitted about like a butterfly dating and moving on,could never understand it as I never went looking.I was proposed to at 16 but said I was too young.I was still a virgin. Then I met somebody 'different'married and had children. It didn't last, he was a very bad choice.
I don't think not dating is bad at all, its no reflection on you.
If you *feel* it is then change your appearance, do a make-over. Change your attitude too, have a 'couldn't care less' outlook.
Focus on friends,new interests, not dating.Lads are not the be all and end all. A career, friends, doing things you enjoy, thats what matters.Then when your busy doing all these other things some guy will surprise you.
Good luck x
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