A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for a while. When we started dating, I never thought we would be together as long as we have. Well, I had a problem trusting him (needless to say). But I can honestly say I'm madly in love with him. He seems so serious about the relationship. He has even asked me to marry him. But... I'm 15. He asked my mother's permission and she gave her consent. (He is 18 by the way) At the beginning of the relationship, we both agreed we did not want to get married, nor did we want childeren. He wants both now! I'm worried. He is not a virgin. Before he met me he dated around a lot. But, he is my first everything! My first kiss, First real boyfriend.... (I'm still a virgin. Where I live it is illegal to have sex with him until I am 17.) But... I'm worried that I'm giving up a lot. I love him, and I cannot see myself with Anyone but him, but I still wonder if this is normal. This is not how I pictured my life. I'm scared. But excited too. The thought of being with him forever and having his childeren is amazing. But.... I'm still unsure... Please, is this normal? Am I over reacting? Is it okay to be so realistic about marriage? I really dont want to be naive.Thanks so much.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): You are too young to marry; too young to appreciate how you will change over the years; and too clueless about what marriage means. Young people always feel in love; this will continue throughout your 20s, but you need realistic life skills and resources to make marriage work. You need education, income and experience managing a household. Passion does not pay bills, buy bread or raise children. And you will limit your future potential attaching yourself to a family now. Want to travel the world? You will not with babies on your back, at least not for decades, yes, decades. Want to go away to college? How about joining the PeaceCorps? This boy is just a boy too; our society will not encourage an 18-year-old to be wedded forever--that is uber naive of you. He may be your first kiss,and when you turn 17 your first lover, but the chances of him being your one and only forever are so incredibly slim. Please do not do it! Be a child while you can.
A
female
reader, Rae1031  +, writes (28 January 2009):
First of all, I am very impressed that you have such an amazingly straight head on your shoulders at the age of 15. The first thing that I noticed was that you mentioned that you are a virgin because it is illegal to have sex under the age of 17 where you are from. Well where I am from, for an 18 year old and a 15 year old to have sex, would be considered satatory rape, but the truth is that stops very few people from doing it anyway. Secondly for you to be so smart and sensible at your age your mom must have done something very right, therefore; I do not think that she would give her consent for you to marry somebody if she felt he would do you harm (mother's know), the thrid and still very impressive thing that you said was that even though your boyfriend is not a virgin and has been with other people, he has still been willing to wait for you and even has shown enough respect to do the right thing and ask for you mothers consent. Honestly, and I am not trying to say anything at all bad about the guys, but most guys are not willing to put sex on hold once the have become sexually active, so if this is what he has done for you then it sounds as if you have got a real keeper and it also sounds like he is head over heals in love! Don't change a thing you are currently doing in this relationship because it sounds as if you are doing it all right. Let him know how you are feeling, you could possibly just have cold feet, or perhaps you're really just not ready yet! Either way this could be seen as your first maridal test, figure it out together. If you involve him in the process and he feels as if you guys made this decision togeter he will be happy to stick with it weather it is to get hitched right away or wait a while. Good Luck and Congradulations!
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A
male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (28 January 2009):
 Being that you're 15, you have a long time to worry about getting married. As another poster said, you'll be missing out on so much. What you see as perfect at 15, may not sound so desirable at 19.
Take your time, there is no need to rush into anything. Marriage is a huge commitment! It is a decision that effects the rest of your life.
I did what you're talking about. Come 20 years old, you and that person can become total strangers living under the same roof. Different wants, goals dreams and desires.
Don't rush yourself. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you. Enjoy being young!
Joe~
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): Your 15.. big problem.. you are still growing honey.. Yes you love him today, and you will probably love him tomorrow.. but marriage is difficult, you will have to give up so much. Your friends will be dating, having fun, enjoying life, you will miss so much.
Your guy has asked, your mother has said yes, that means he is a respectable guy. Ask for a long engagement, at least 3 or 4 years. This will give you both time to grow together, and will avoid the dangers of marrying young and then ending in divorce. Marriage is very hard, it's a lifetime commitment to one man and one man only. You are still young, if he loves you, then he will understand and he will be able to wait. Your both are still growing, over time, your hearts or interests may change.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): In my personal opinion I think you should marry him, because I dont think he would say all thoes things and make commietments to you if he didnt really love you. Most guys your age are afraid of thoes things. I think you should really just do what your heart tells you to!
~ :] ~
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