A
female
age
51-59,
*oolymaid
writes:My boyfriend of 10 months still has regular contact with his ex, he dated her for 5 years, she is 23 he is 40. A few week ago he went to meet her and she stayed the night at his, he told me he was going home to watch the footie with his neighbour and have a few drinks and stay at his. I mannaged to get his mobile and read he was going to pick her up at his local train station, so I followed him, did not confront him at that time as I was devastated, when I did he said she was having trouble with her bloke and needed to get away, I told him I had followed him and he was angry with me for doing that. He later told me he tried it on with her but she rejected him, he says he is only friends with her and he could never get back with her as she hurt him. He says they have been through lot in the 5 years as she was a heavy drug user.Is this acceptable for me as I don't want him to have any cotact with her. I love him to bits and have never been in love with anyone like I am with him before. Will I ever be able to trust him while she is still in his life?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, The old Man?  +, writes (28 January 2009):
 My dear, you have the perfect recipe for disaster!
Being that he lied to you to be with her is one problem. Even though she turned him down, he still tried! That's another.
Though they may not get back together because she hurt him. She still finds it necessary to fall back on him when she has problems with her bloke. It is quite possible that one of these times, she may feel a little guilty for hurting him, she's mad at her bloke, the old feelings start coming up, and next thing we know, they're doing it!
Though he may not want to get back together with her, he is still cheating on you.
You have every right to not want them to be a part of each others lives.
Joe~
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