A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 years now. He is an alcoholic. I just found out I'm pregnant. I would love to have the baby but I don't feel its fair to bring a child into the world with an alcoholic father. I already have a 17 year old son who I raised alone. It was not easy and I don't want to do it again. I've asked him to stop and he told me "you met me like this". So I guess that means he does not want to change. I'm not sure how he will support me as he lives with him mom and can't support himself. Am I making a mistake by having an abortion. Please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): You are making a mistake by staying with your boyfriend. You should break that relationship off, it sounds unhealthy and harmful to you.
If you feel that you can't raise a child alone, have the abortion. You should not feel guilty - this is your decision. Just be sure that it is what you truly want.
Find someone to confide in, through church or a community group, a neighbor or relative, etc. They will be able to help you much more than you know.
A
female
reader, atomvseve  +, writes (13 November 2009):
It sounds like you don't want the abortion, but I can understand why you feel that your boyfriend wouldn't be a good father.
I think you should put the baby up for adoption.
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A
female
reader, atomvseve +, writes (13 November 2009):
It sounds like you don't want the abortion, but I can understand why you feel that your boyfriend wouldn't be a good father.I think you should put the baby up for adoption.
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (13 November 2009):
 This is not an easy decision but You need to do right by the life within you.
Some people will say its wrong to have an abortion others will say its ok to do it.
Only you can truly decide as the mother whats in the best interests of that life within you.
Make a list of the pro's and cons of having this child. See what outways what and think carefully.
You will never make a right or wrong decision.
You would have done whats best at the time.
Hope this helps you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): "You will be haunted by this decision for the rest of your life."
This statement is true regardess of which option she takes. Adoption, Abortion, or keeping the baby. There is no way out that does not cause a lot of hurt and second-guessing for years afterwards.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): i wouldn,t keep the baby, i wouldn't also be w/an alchogolic
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A
female
reader, suzanne1980 +, writes (12 November 2009):
all i am going to say to you is think before you have an abortion its a big decision and is yours alone as u said you have a child you done it before and you can do it again please really think about this
i hope this is of some help please make the decision for you
take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): You're not making a mistake, you're sparing a life that would be miserable and depressed if they had a father who was like that.
If you don't think you could raise another child again, then an abortion may have been the best option for your sake.
If your boyfriend is like this and refusing to change for the sake of his child, it's disrespectful and shows how he only cares about himself.
All the best
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 November 2009):
He wont' change, but the fact that you're asking this question means that you don't really want to go through with the abortion. The best thing to do is to speak a a counsellor, who will talk to you about it. You've done it before, so you know you can do it, now matter how hard. But you certainly don't want to make a mistake. Talk to someone proffessional who can get all your feelings out so you can understand them, then make your decision. Personally, I bet you're strong enough to cope with a baby (you have done it), but the decision remains yours and yours alone. Speak to someone about it.
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (12 November 2009):
put it up for adoption. don't kill ur unborn child for situations the child cudnt control. adoption adoption adoption. give ur child a chance to do something good in this world
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A
female
reader, ali20 +, writes (12 November 2009):
Hi, firstly i think you should finish with ur boyfriend. I know that being an alcoholic is an illness but if he isnt willing to change, especially with a baby on the way, do you really want to be with someone like this? I would of thought that would be one of the biggest incentives to getting yourself off the drink knowing your going to be a father. For him to say "you met me like this" is just the stupidest thing to say. You wasnt carrying his child when you met him. I think you should base your decision on what you want. Do you want an abortion? If the answer is no then dont do it. Trust me if you have an abortion when you really wanted to keep it, it can leave you feeling so bad. I know cos i been there myself. Do what you feel is best. If you had an abortion do you think you would resent your boyfriend? Im not saying you should or shouldnt have an abortion im just asking a few questions which you should ask yourself before you make a decision. This is quite a hard situation to be in. I honestly think you should do what your gut is telling you to do. By telling you he is not going to change, are you sure you want to be with him anyway? Is there a chance he might go to councilling or detox programmes? If he refuses to go, then i think for me personally i would rather have my child than him. but i know thats easier said than done when you love someone. Goodluck on what you decide i hope this helps!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): You obviously aren't sure about having an abortion, so I would think through it as much as possible. It can have serious emotional repercussions. If it's at all possible I think you should look into adoption to give the child a better home than you would be able to provide without the emotional difficulties of abortion. It is up to you what to do, however; no one can or should tell you what to do about becoming pregnant. Best wishes for this difficult situation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): Killing the baby is not fair either.
You will be haunted by this decision for the rest of your life. Put it up for adoption.
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