A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When me and my bf were together for 2 months, his ex started calling him. This is the woman he thought he would marry. He told me she called and they talked on the phone, and I wasn't mad. After another month he let me borrow his phone, and his messages 4 some reason stayed in the phone, even with my sim card. While looking through my things, I saw a picture message she sent him with about 4 pics. I also saw that he sent her 1 back. I was very upset with this, so I avoided his calls for the whole day. Finally, I discussed it with him and he said they were just pics sayin hi, and she was only supposed 2 send 1 but ended up sending more than she said. I forgave him, but since then I still hold it against him. It has made me feel insecure. I've had someone cheat on me and now im cery insecure about that. I believe him when he says that's all it was, but I still get upset about it, even 7 months later. I would even expect to see her coming out of his house when I would go to his house a few minutes earlier than usual. How do I get over it? I hate feeling so consumed with this, even tho I know he is telling me the truth. Am I making this a bigger deal than it really is? What does anyone think cause I don't know
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): can she talk to you?
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 July 2010):
You've not really forgiven him at all. I think maybe you need look at your relationship and see where it needs more effort, particularly on his behalf. If you've not forgiven him, that means that there hasn't yet been enough effort by you or him for you to get over this. So go back to dating, spending time together, going out, staying in and all that stuff. Just start over again and work on it. If you still haven't forgiven him after putting a huge amount of effort into it, then you never will and it would be better to end it.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (5 July 2010):
 'I forgave him, but since then I still hold it against him.'= you haven't forgiven him.
'I believe him when he says that's all it was, but I still get upset about it, even 7 months later.' = You haven't forgiven him.
If nothing else has happened then I am pretty sure there is nothing more he can do to make you believe him and forgive him...
This is something your going to have to deal with in your own head and your own heart.
Women have a habit of letting their minds work overtime and blowing things out of all proportion. If you have proof that his ex is still in contact with him, then front him or better still front her. If you have no proof that it is still going on and it's all in your head, then either force yourself to stop toturing yourself with it...or admit that the damage has been done, that you can't trust of believe him and break up with him!!!
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