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Am I living a total fantasy?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 June 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ok i really need some advice on this one.

I'm currently married to a guy i've been with for 14 years, i do love him immensley and everything is fine between us but here's were my problem lies!

I think i'm in love with someone else, a friend of mine to be precise, i cant seem to get him out of my head no matter how hard i try, to make things even worse i have reason to believe he likes me too, we used to work together and often spent alot of time together both in and out of work, when we talk he always holds eye contact with me and i often catch him staring at me.

When i got a new job i kinda hoped my feelings for him would disapear but they didnt infact they are now worse and i find myself texting or speaking to him over the phone when ever i can or arranging to meet with him for any possible reason i can think off, he now has a girlfriend and has asked me not to mention to her the times we have spent together in the past as she once asked him if there was anything going on between us (which there isnt and never was).

I really dont know what to do about this....i dont wanna hurt my husband at all and the last thing i want to do is split my family, but its driving me crazy thinking about my friend morning noon and night.

Please give me some idea what i need to do here, am i denying feelings i shouldn't be and should just take the plunge or am i living a total fantasy and should be trying harder to forget him and to concentrate on my marriage, please help i'm really confused.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009):

you are fooling yourself, if you take the plunge , as you say you want to do, then be prepared to lose everything and be prepared for the devastation you will upload on your family. you hve no boundaries at the moment so please stop all communication with this man. he has a gf for goodness sake. where do you think this will all end. he wants to cheat on his current gf with you? in fact he is already cheating and you are his willing accomplice. you are having an emotional affair with this man already , so only you can stop this. i am not going to go on and on. i suggest you read the posts here to determine how affairs pan out in the end. if you take the plunge then you only have yourself to blame and once everything is lost please do not say we did not warn you. your actions have consequences and be ready to pay the price. so many others have, do you think you will be any different. an affair by any other name is still an affair. if you want to indulge , please release your hb, let him move on to a decent loyal /faithful woman who will not cheat and betray him. after all i think he deserves it, don't you. you are living in la la land, time to get up and smell the sh1t you are creating in your life. not a good smell is it? if you sow hurt and betrayal, my darling, you will reap the very same.

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A female reader, Lilly Rose United Kingdom +, writes (29 June 2009):

Lilly Rose agony auntIt might be the whole you have been with your husband 14 years...things get comfy....and this other guy is something new...showing you attention...if you truely love your husband then you need to break off the contact with this other man.....he has a girlfriend so he doesnt want to be with you....as if he did he would of said something and kinda not tellin his new gf about u shows he doesnt want his current gf gettin upset.....try and avoid this man for awhile cut of contact then try and work out in ur head what u really want!

Good luck x

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