A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone.I'm 17 almost 18. I have some big doubt about my sexuality, it's something that's killing me. Ok, I currently have a boyfriend and all my life I've had relationships only with men. I'm both emotionally and sexually attracted to men, but also I'm attracted only sexually to women and not all the time, just some times. Sometimes when I watch some porn movie I watch lesbian porn and it really turns me on as much as "straight" porn, yet i prefer straight porn but after watching lesbo porn i feel kinda dirty cause I think myself lesbian, and the idea of me having a relationship with a woman or even dating them doesn't really attract me or even think about it, I always visualize myself with a man, and never ever been attracted to any girl in a way like to have something with her or anything. I have a lot of female friends, Once I felt some sexual attraction towards my best friend and she kinda liked it too but nothing happened.I wouldn't really like to date a girl or anything, it's just a sexual thing. I love my guy and I'm attracted to him sexually too, I've never had sex because I decided to wait until marriage so I don't know.I read somewhere it could be cause I lacked of a feminine figure in my childhood, I mean I do have a mother and everything but big part of my childhood I lived with my grandparents because my mom had to work and they would take care of me and everything so I didn't see her often. I don't know if that could be the reason, though I consider myself straight because I don't have and never had before the thought of having something different than a friendship with a woman. So I don't know if thinking sexually on women makes me a lesbian, or maybe it's just a fantasy of mine cause I think much more about men than about women when sex comes to my mind.Can you please tell me what you think about this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CrystalTippsx  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 The easiest way to tell if you're bi/gay is if you have romantic or emotional feelings towards women. Any kind of sexual activity can turn you on, especcially as a teenager, so you could be straight. Women are extremely sexy, whether you're into them or not, so enjoying lesbian porn is nothing to be ashamed of. Just take your time, and see how you feel over the next few years. You could change, and maybe you are bi, but if you like your boyfriend stay with him. Just don't worry about it. But the main thing is, if you are emotionally attracted to women, the sex part will some easily. If you're sexually attracted to women, the emotional part just won't work. And lesbians/bisexual women have realtionships with women, not just sex. Good luck! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all your answers. I really appreciate your help, I really thought that the fact of being attracted to women or finding them hot would automatically make me a lesbian but I see I'm not the only one and yeah, it could be just a phase in my life or some lesbian side of me lol Thanks again, God bless you all :)
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 I think a lot of women go through what you're going through. Freaking out when they discover that they find women sexy, and/or that they like watching girl-on-girl porn.
Here's the thing... women ARE sexy. And as females, we're a lot more liable to not be ashamed of thinking Beyoncé is gorgeous. Women generally notice the beauty of other women. And as for porn, females make porn what it is. If not for the women moaning and putting on a show, porn would be pretty boring.
Lesbian porn is two gorgeous women being really enthusiastic with each other. There's less pressure, and just two beautiful bodies (that you can connect with) interacting. You can live vicariously through both of them! Just because you enjoy watching doesn't mean you're a lesbian, or want an actual relationship with a woman. Just means that you get turned on. Don't feel dirty! Plenty of people watch threesome videos, but there's no way they'd ever actually do one!
Liking lesbian porn is totally normal, finding women sexy is normal and being a little sexually curious is also normal for your age. I don't think it has as much to do with your family history as you think. I think it's just a normal phase that women go through - and might stick with for the rest of time. Do a little experimenting if you want to and if you feel comfortable doing so, but I think it's just a fantasy and just a way for you to have more fun and connect with porn. No worries!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): You might be a little bisexual. I'm the same way I'm a straight women, but i think girls are sexy as hell. I like to have sex with women and watch lesbian porn but i would never be in a relationship with a women. I like men more when it comes to emotionally and sexually. But, women are sexy its hard not to get turned on ;). But, i don't think you are a lesbian. My best advise (since your not having sex until marriage) is to maybe kiss another women and see how it makes you feel. Maybe you will like it, maybe not.
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A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (27 September 2010):
I dont think youre a lesbian.Im straight but i get turned on by lesbian porn too,and a lot of women would testify to this.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 You make it sound like a reslly bad thing? Don't worry,if thinking about having sex with a women made you a lesbian then we'd all be lesbians!
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