A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently got a urinary tract infection (UTI) and was in terrible discomfort and pain for several days. I was treated with a dose of anti-biotics and was told that my partner would also have to apply a topical medicine on his penis so that there wouldn't be a relapse later. I bought the medicine for my boyfriend but he kept refusing to apply it, saying it didn't matter or that he'd do it later. After fighting about this for several days, I finally gave up. We resumed our normal sex life. And within days, I ended up with a relapse. Now I obviously don't know the exact reason or source of infection but my boyfriend is a likely reason. Am I justified in feeling very upset with him over his previous refusal to take precautions? I am in terrible pain again and I can't seem to forgive him.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 September 2012):
 Condoms can perhaps also help prevent UTI's. But yes, if he can help you NOT get another UTI he should.
Stop giving in. It's REALLY that simple.
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (9 September 2012):
 People treat you the way you allow them to.You eventually gave in to him. He knew you would.Stop being a doormat. He treats you like crap because you let him, so you know what to do from now on...no more giving in, no more allowing him to bulldoze over you. Stand up for yourself!
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (9 September 2012):
Yes you are completely justified to feel upset about this. It is the opinion of the doctor that this cream should be used to reduce your chances of re-infection. Even if he disagrees with the expert, it wouldn’t hurt to give the cream a try. It’s unbelievably selfish of him to refuse to do this. Tell him no sex until he follows doctors orders, he’ll soon have a change of heart. And if he doesn’t, play the long game and don’t give in. IF he can see that you’re determined not to allow him to dodge this issue again, he’ll have to rethink his position. It’s totally unacceptable that you have twice contracted an infection, which is very painful and uncomfortable, and yet he won’t do something that might help you avoid this happening again.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (9 September 2012):
 I'm not surprised you feel upset but really you should have followed instructions yourself and not had sex until he used the medicine. If you have to go back to the doctor, maybe take your boyfriend with you so the doctor can explain to you both why you should follow instructions. If your boyfriend refuses, don't have sex with him. Even if that means indefinitely!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (9 September 2012):
 I can understand being angry with him since he clearly didn't take it seriously enough to do anything about it, BUT you knew this and had sex with him anyway.
There should have been no argument. Either he does it or no sex. Period.
He knew that all he had to do was wait you out. You might put up a fuss, but in the end he would get what he wanted. And he did.
Next time don't rely on someone else to have your back. You take your own health and safety into your own hands. That way you'll never be disappointed.
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