A
female
age
36-40,
*Lindy87
writes:I met this guy a week ago and we totally hit it off via texts after we initially met. We clicked really well and he seemed to really like me so we planned a first official date, dinner and a movie. The date went well, I think, we had great conversation, we never had a silent moment, he was talking extrememly fast and a lot (I think he was just nervous)...but then after dinner we went to a movie and it was soo boring, we both almost fell asleep so we left that movie and snuck into a different one. He gave me a really long hug goodnight and that night we talked about how next time we should just do dinner. He's in the process of moving places right now and after our date he told me he'd be very busy with that, he barely has texted me the last couple days and btw he's also going on vacation six days after he's through moving. I already knew all that the day I met him, he was talking about it all, and thats before we got involved so i know he's being honest. However, the thing is that I am seriously scared that he's blowing me off or that he'll forget about the idea of us once he returns. I am used to guys blowing hot and cold with me and blowing me off altogether. I know i'm probably just fearing that the same thing is going to happen with this guy, although the signs are that he's into me, he really wouldn't have agreed on a second date right? The thing is that we didn't set a date yet, he just said it'd have to be after his vacation. my question is this: I really want to know if I'm just being paranoid because of my past experience with guys blowing me off or if it sounds like he really is? I also want to know how to be less into this guy because I'm not used to liking guys this much. I usually am very guarded and withdrawn but I really am into him and I don't want to lose this opprotunity. I know most of my friends told me to just wait and see if he calls after he's back but its going to drive me crazy. Please give me any advice you have. Thank you.
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female
reader, Empressjai  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 Stop placing so much expectations on this one guy might help. You had one date and all of this obsessing over that one time is what will drive you crazy. You had one date and you say you hit it off and clicked. Remember this is your observation, you dont know this guy well enough to ascertain his perspective on the date. You mentioned that you met him a week ago and after one date you are now involved! This is a bit presumptuous! Especially after only one date. You have to be more realistic here.
Dating is the first step for two people to assess whether they are compatible enough to maybe have something more exclusive. This was the first date and you are so fired up and eager for reassurances of his interest in you. This type of energy will be received like a tidal wave...your approach should be more like a gentle stream...going with the flow and see what happens. If this is your usual behaviour with guys then it is not surprising that they blow hot and cold and then blow you off altogether.
You need to relax and get a grip, one that is based in reality... it was one date and one date promises nothing unless the guy asks you out on another date and another and so on. Until then you should just relax and chill out. He's extremely busy with moving and a vacation. Moving is one of the most stressful events in life behind death and marriage. He is getting on with his life but you seem to want to stop yours and wait to see if he will contact you again. You decided to change dating tactics as maybe being too guarded wasnt getting you nowhere with men so you go to the extreme by being needy.
The only thing that will drive you crazy is to wait around for him to call you. Get out and meet other guys; get on with your life and see what happens next. If he calls you then he likes you enough to ask you out on a second date but if you don't ever hear from him again then it's time to move on to meeting other guys. That is how it goes in the dating world, there's no promises or guarantees and no commitments either.
A
female
reader, Tasmanian devil +, writes (29 May 2010):
 i think you are being paranoid because you hit it off soo well with this guy, i also agree with your friends wait and see, if he calls you back great, if not maybe hes not all that hes cracked up to be. and if your so curious why dont you just casually text him
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