A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just broke up with my long term girlfriend last week and now i find myself laying down on a couch with a girl that i almost dated before my ex. Is it possible for someone to move on so fast?she wants to date me and i want to date her, i like being in her company and i like cuddling up with her. am i just missing a relationship with someone or am i past my ex so soon?I dont feel any guilt or sadness towards my decision of breaking up with her because i felt that we were only friends for the last month of our relationship so im thinking ive been subconcsiously moving on/looking for someone else for a month. What do you guys think??
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broke up, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (4 March 2008):
 You said " i like being in her company and i like cuddling up with her. am i just missing a relationship with someone or am i past my ex so soon?" and I don't necessarily believe it has to be either. Maybe because your ex was part of a long term relationship, you feel as though you've missed out on some of the things you could have been doing and feeling. This can be exiting, this could be refreshing, this could be confusing. Either way, I'm glad you're taking your recent breakup so well and I'm happy that you've been able to connect with rekindle some affection with someone you had feelings for before your ex. However, for the time being I think you should take things slow. Hang out with this new girl all you want but consider putting off the commitment of calling yourselves a couple. Hope this helps!
-Jmo
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 well that all depends on whether you still have feelings for your ex or not - if you do then you know you miss her and are trying to replace wat you had with her. if you dont then i think you genuinely do want to date this girl. you could have been subconciously looking for someone else and you may have just found her. enjoy your time with this girl, but take things slow to give yourself time to figure out how you feel and wat you want. i hope everything works out for you hun, good luck and be happy!xxx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (4 March 2008):
 Good point there Steffytee! Thats my golden rule these days to be honest, not to get into a relationship with someone so new out of one.
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Only the human race mourn the end of relationships - in nature animals just move on.
If you and the girl want to get together, go for it. Don't feel you have to wait incase your ex doesn't like it. If your ready and this person can make you happy, just enjoy it and move on.
Go get her - Congrats on your new relationship!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): God you're young! Of course there's nothing wrong at all with wanting to move on so quickly. There's plenty of time to settle down and have a serious relationship when you're older, at the moment it should be about having fun and enjoying yourself.
Your ex girlfriend might be hurt, however, by you moving on so quickly. But really you don't owe her anything, you were honest with her and split up, and although it probably sounds hard she'll get over it.
Go for it :o)
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 March 2008):
Hi
Depends on your feelings for your ex. If you genuinely know you dont love her anymore and that side of its done and dusted, then yes, move on. When i split with someone i had been with 6 yrs 16 yrs ago, i went straight into a new relationship with no break whatsoever, and ended up with him 9 yrs and having 2 kids with him! So i would definately say, if you have no feelings for the ex go for it, but otherwise it tends to be a rebound. And rarely works.
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Well like you say, you've been subconsiously looking for someone else for a month now, so this could just be pretty lucky. But it sounds to me like you're more wanting another relationship, especially since your last girlfriend was long term. You've probably become used to being in a relationship, and want to carry on feeling comfortable and with someone. This doesnt necessarily mean dating another girl so soon is wrong, but be careful that you're not just using her and do like her an awful lot, if not love her. Good luck honey :]
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