A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:After a short and mostly rocky marriage, my husband and I seperated about three months ago. About two weeks after I left, he began pleading with me to reconcile, saying he has been going to counseling and made a huge mistake in asking me to leave. (he wanted to be alone to "sort himself out")Here is the problem. Up until about a week ago, I have had very hard resolve about not wanting to ever be with someone who treated me so bad and essentially kicked me out of their life. My husband has written at least something to me almost every day since I left and I haven't heard a peep from him in two weeks, which makes me really realize how having him completely out of my life is. I am finding myself very depressed and lonely. Wondering if I am missing him and want to reconcile. The other thing is, I have this fantasy in my mind that he will do some grandiose romantic gesture to "win me back" like show up at my doorstep or something. I know that I am only setting myself up for dissapointment and further hurt by fantasizing about this since there is zero chance he would do something like that, but I just can't seem to help myself. I know deep down that I am better off without him...am I just going through a natural period of confusion? I feel really low and vulnerable...how can I make sure I don't end up doing something I will regret??
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female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (19 December 2008):
 Hi,
You need to talk to him and let him know that it is not a decision that can be made by one person. I think alot of people go through this situation at some point in their marriage i have recently been through the same thing.
He has had his chance to work out how he feels now he needs to give you the space to do the same,it might be that you just miss what you are used to but it could also be that you still love him and want to give it another go but you need to make that decision without being emotionally blackmailed into doing it.
Hope evrything workss out for whatever you decide take care xx
A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (19 December 2008):
 Stay Strong to many times women give into their head and not their heart its not good .It hurts bad to loose someone but sometimes you find out that its for the best and until he stop sending you letters and asking you to come home your going to have confusion . Just let him know to step back and give you time to decide that you need the time and if he does then you will be able to do what is right and if not you might just do something ya dont really want to do ....
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