A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My husband and I dated for a year, was engaged for a year, have been married for half a year, and have a 9 month old son. We're 20 years old. I feel like I've made a mistake getting married. I love my son but I don't know anymore about my husband. He has an aweful temper (he's never hit me though), he still is so attached to his parents, he's clingy, and he just won't grow up! We have bills and he buys car parts to make his car faster, like buying a turbo for it... Why did he need that? We're in debt and he complains about it, but does stupid stuff like that! He's yelled at our baby before and when I tell him to stop he gets mad and says he wasn't yelling he was just frustrated, so he doesn't even see that he is yelling! I'm scared that my son will be afraid of his temper, or when he gets older something worse will happen. I love my son so much and I would die before anything happened to him. I don't want him to be raised in a family that fights all the time, because I was and I'm not close with any of my family now, and I want so much more for my baby. I have no desire to have sex anymore with him. Some of it started when we finally did, I was still laying in bed waiting for him to come back afterwords, and I heard him talking on the phone. He was talking to his dad about a football game! We had just got done having sex not even 5 minutes earlier! I just feel like he's not ready to be in a serious relationship and all of this stress over what to do and everything has bottled up inside me, because if I say anything about it, he gets mad and starts yelling. All we do is fight. I don't know what to do. I feel since we've not been married that long that I haven't given this a chance, but then again I also feel like since it's not been that long and I'm already feeling this way that it's not a good sign! I don't know what to do and I need help. Can anyone offer me advice? Am I just being selfish and wanting more than I should? Please help...
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female
reader, superdopah  +, writes (3 November 2007):
i dont think your being selfish, it isnt unreasonable for your to want your son to grown up in stress free area!
have you tried talking to him about it, and think about how you word things dont give him the opportunity to shout at you and put you off the convo, tell him your not happy but you want to give it a go. he might just be in his comfort zone since you got married and thinks he doesnt need to make an effort anymore. but i believe the day you stop making an effort is the day we die!
A
female
reader, peaches83 +, writes (3 November 2007):
 I dont feel you are been selfish and i understand the situation you are in.
Every mother wants what is best for her child.
Yes you are both young and have been dating for a while before you got married, it sounds like you have just lost that spark that all couples ca loose. You no longer see what may be important to him because your mind is onthe baby 24/7. The only advice i can give you is sit your husband down and tell him exactly what you have said here, I figure there is a lack of comunication between you and therefore are nt knowing what each other desire or need.
By telling him how you feel could make him understand things from your point of view but can also make you understand his.
Good luck and dont give up just yet.
Peaches
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